Back The Golden Hour
Chapters (47)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Part I
  5. Lulu
  6. Lulu
  7. Elfriede
  8. Lulu
  9. Elfriede
  10. Lulu
  11. Elfriede
  12. Lulu
  13. Part II
  14. Lulu
  15. Elfriede
  16. Lulu
  17. Elfriede
  18. Lulu
  19. Part III
  20. Lulu
  21. Elfriede
  22. Lulu
  23. Elfriede
  24. Lulu
  25. Elfriede
  26. Part IV
  27. Lulu
  28. Lulu
  29. Elfriede
  30. War Office, London
  31. Lulu
  32. Elfriede
  33. Lulu
  34. Lulu
  35. Lulu
  36. Part V
  37. Lulu
  38. Part VI
  39. Ursula
  40. Lulu
  41. Elfriede
  42. EpilogueLulu
  43. Historical Note
  44. Acknowledgments
  45. About the Author
  46. Also by Beatriz Williams
  47. About the Publisher

Herr Doktor Hermann’s question is strange not because of its intimacy—certainly they have touched on intimate subjects before—but because of its specificity. How do you feel about your husband? he should have asked instead. By inserting the word love inside the query, he’s compromised the honesty of her answer.

Elfriede stares at the bridge made by his long, latticed fingers, and his face just above, which seems a little flushed, though today’s weather is far from warm. “Why do you ask?” she says.

“Because it is important for me to know, as your doctor. As your doctor, I must know these vital details, Elfriede, so we may progress in your treatment.”

Dr. Hermann’s fingernails are small and shallow, almost as if the tips of the digits had been chopped off at some uniform length, or else cut short at his creation. Elfriede thinks of her son’s tiny fingernails, like fragments of seashells, and how she used to gaze on them in awe and also fear, unable to understand how such delicate ornamentation could have come from her. From Gerhard and his bear paws.

“Of course I love my husband,” she says.

Dr. Hermann considers. “You say ‘of course,’ Elfriede. Why do you say ‘of course’? Is it necessary for a wife to love her husband?”

“A wife would be a beast if she didn’t love a man such as my husband. She would be unworthy of life.”

Herr Doktor’s hands spring apart. He turns to his notebook, lifts the pen lying in the crease, and writes something down. When he looks up again, his cheeks are even more flushed than before, and the tip of his nose.

“Are you a beast, Elfriede?” he asks. “Are you unworthy of life?”

Elfriede rises from her chair. Because the weather’s blustery, they’re indoors, inside Dr. Hermann’s private office, equipped with comfortable armchairs and a sofa. On the wall opposite Elfriede hangs a painting of the Ringstrasse in Vienna, where the large, baroque houses remind her of Schloss Kleist.

“Excuse me,” she says. “I’m going to get a little air.”

Actually, there’s no such thing as a little air in a place like this, a monastery arranged on the slope of a mountain so as to be far from mankind and nearer to God. You walked outside and encountered huge mouthfuls of it, you had to gulp to keep pace, to save yourself from drowning, and sometimes there was so much air you turned your back on the wind and made your way along with your shoulders hunched against this onslaught.