Back The Gifts
Chapters (9)
  1. Cover
  2. Epigraph
  3. October, 1840
  4. Eight days earlier
  5. Acknowledgements
  6. About the Author
  7. Bibliography
  8. Reading Group Questions
  9. Letter from Author

She goes to follow him, but the dog stands in front of her, blocking her way and barking as Richard disappears into the smoke.

‘Richard!’ she yells again, panic rising, heart thumping. ‘Richard!’

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Annie coughs, holds her arm over her mouth as she stumbles down the steps into the basement.

‘Edward!’ she shouts. ‘Edward!’

Smoke fills the hallway and she cannot see him. She checks the empty dissecting room before fumbling her way forward as the wood cladding burns to her right, perilously close to her dress.

‘Edward!’

He is in his study, the door locked from the inside. He ignores her as she raps on the door and peers through the small glass panel.

He has his head in his hands. ‘Are we not in our own way gods you and I?’ Then this was a test. This was all God’s test and he has failed Him – for do not medicine and morality come hand in hand? His angel told him that his ambition blinded him and he cannot face the world without her, cannot face the hordes at Exeter Hall, cannot face his beloved Society ever again. He has nothing to offer. All the promises he has wrought and all for nothing. All is lost. All is turned to dust. He used God’s creatures for his own gain, deluded himself with his own greatness when he was, all along, as his angel had said, merely a man. A man with foibles and faults, hopes and dreams. He has torn up his own life, ripped it into shreds just as he destroyed Annie’s painting. He unpeels the bandage on his arm, looks at the scar, at the angry rash that spreads up and over his skin as he recalls the inscription at St Luke’s, words that now cut him deeply. Miseratione non mercede. For compassion not for gain.

‘Edward! Please! Do not do this! Edward!’

He hears Annie banging at the door, but he ignores her. She will never look at me in the same way, he thinks, calmness and acceptance coming over him. What is done cannot be undone. It is too late for redemption. His path is set, perhaps was set for him all along. He recalls a passage from Isaiah.

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Then he prays:

‘Our Father, which art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name;

Thy kingdom come;

Thy will be done;

In earth as it is in heaven.’

Richard stumbles forward in the smoke, feels his way along the hallway to where Annie is and grabs her by the shoulder. She resists at first, but she is tired and she can see through the glass that her husband, stubborn and determined as ever, has already made up his mind.