I had a feeling if I went to Calvin’s room, he’d be delighted and that might change, but I had no inclination to do that. From time to time, I wondered if he was disappointed at the way our marriage was panning out. It was too awkward to bring up in conversation, and he seemed happy enough, but I knew all too well that when I agreed to marry him, he’d hoped that I’d fall in love with him too.

I realized it was just not going to happen. My feelings had nothing to do with Calvin and everything to do with me. I was more fond of him than ever. I respected him and I admired him. I was grateful to him, and I wanted to please him. I just had no drive toward romantic love, not the way other people around me seemed to.

“Oh gosh, I am so sorry,” Avril said. She dropped her hands to her belly, as if to protect it. Her second child was due in a few months. “You know, Becca did say that she thought it was odd that Calvin didn’t already have children after being married to his first wife for so long. But you know how those girls gossip and I just thought it was none of my business.”

“They gossip?” I prompted lightly. This wasn’t the first time she’d made a comment like that. I felt I knew her well enough now that I could gently prod to see what she was getting at.

“It’s terrible, and you’re such a nice woman. I hate to hear it.”

“What do they say about me?” I asked.

“Well, sweetie, there’s been a lot of speculation about…” She shrugged, looking around her expansive living room. “Calvin isn’t short of a dollar, is he? Gail pointed out that he was just so lonely when he first started coming down from Albuquerque, and with you working at that hotel, they thought maybe you were down on your luck a little and saw him as an opportunity…”

“It was not like that,” I gasped.

“And most newlyweds can’t keep their hands off each other, but like Becca said, you two aren’t like that at all, at least when we’re around.” My cheeks heated, and I didn’t know what to say. I avoided her gaze, my mind racing as I tried to think of a response. Was it really so obvious? How mortifying.

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” Avril winced. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”