“There’s been so much skepticism about the technology. Karl and Otto want to expand the program, but they first need to prove to officials that the concept is viable.”

“So will you get the funding?”

“Yes. The general approved the request after he saw the launch.”

“And what does that mean?”

“A huge bonus, for a start,” Jürgen said. I didn’t even feel the slightest flutter of excitement, only regret. Once upon a time, I’d have given that money to Mayim, but now I had no idea where she was or how they were. Every time the Nussbaums came to mind, I felt a deep, uncompromising grief. “We can give it to Aunt Adele,” Jürgen said, and that did ease the ache in my chest a little. As I’d expected, he wasn’t at all troubled by her request for financial assistance. Adele was independent enough that we knew she’d only ask for the help if she really needed it. “That’s the good news. The bad news is they are talking about moving the entire program to a new development site.”

“Where?”

“Peenemünde.” I didn’t react, so he clarified, “On the Baltic Sea.”

“Four hours’ drive?”

“Closer to five.”

“I’m guessing you’re not inviting me and the children to move with you.”

“No. They are going to build us accommodation. It won’t be family friendly.”

“You’re never home as it is.”

“I know.”

“So that’s about to get worse?”

“Probably.”

I digested this, grateful for the pitch darkness beneath the covers, so that he couldn’t see the tears in my eyes.

“Sometimes, it feels like living this life is like listening to a piece of music played by a beginner. Most of the song is fine, isn’t it? Most of the time I am engrossed in my work. That prototype we fired this week is like a baby version of the device that might take us to the moon one day—and it works, Sofie. I helped make that happen and there is pride in that. We have this beautiful house. Perfect children. We’re healthy. We don’t have to worry about money anymore. But…there are dissonant notes…sometimes even discordant phrases. And we have to keep smiling regardless. In fact, we have to smile even harder when we hear those sounds, just to cover up how jarring they are.”

“Sometimes I don’t know if I can bear it.”

“Sofie, believe me, it helps to focus on the parts that you can bear.”

“And for you, that’s the rockets.”

“That’s right. And for you, it’s this house, isn’t it? This lifestyle?” I didn’t have the heart to tell him those things had long since lost their shine, but he correctly read my silence. “There has to be something. The children? The new baby?”