Bryson kept up his riveting tale. “Anyway, on that lonely, cold, wintry day, Bryson the Dope came up with his genius plan. I thought that if I opened up all the presents, and then—wait for it—then if I hid the paper, my mom wouldn’t be able to tell that I’d done the deed. So I ripped the wrapping off each and every one of those presents—even my brothers’ and sister’s. For about twenty minutes I was the happiest kid that had ever breathed. After I stuffed all the paper behind the dryer, I took the unwrapped presents and, like a genius, put them back under the tree. Then I sat on the couch and looked at a book until my mom came down from her nap. I was sure she wouldn’t see a difference.”

He paused to let his moment of glory sink in.

“Wow,” Sarah whispered. “That is some kind of dumb.”

“So what happened?”

“Shockingly,” Bryson answered, “my mom immediately figured out what I’d done. She saved the paper from behind the dryer before it caught fire and burned our house down, and then she rewrapped the presents before my brothers and sister got home from school. All was well.”

“What did she do to you?” Sarah asked. “I’m sure half of her wanted to laugh and the other half wanted to murder her own child.”

Michael snickered, just enjoying the fact that they were acting like old times.

“I think my mom was really smart about it,” Bryson explained. “She knew I realized what a historically stupid thing I’d done. And my embarrassment and having to live with it for the rest of my life was punishment enough, although I’m sure she was raging mad on the inside. She tells that story to everybody.”

“Well,” Michael said, “I gotta say, that’s one of the best stories I’ve ever heard. I feel smarter and much better about myself.”

“You should,” Bryson replied. “Okay, who’s next?”

“I’ll go now,” Sarah said. “I’ll tell you guys about the time I tinkled on my aunt.”

5

Ten minutes later, Michael had the giggles and there was nothing to be done about it. Gerard certainly didn’t notice, sawing logs like a lumberjack over on his cot, but Nancy shushed them several times and told Sarah it was time to go to bed. Sarah promised that she would soon.

“There’s no way that happened,” Bryson said.

Sarah was adamant. “Yes, it did! I swear. She was sleeping on my grandma’s couch and I had a sleepwalking…issue. You can ask my parents when they aren’t stone dead over there.”

“But the physics of it,” Bryson countered. “I mean, how’d you balance?”

This set Michael off again, his face and chest hurting from laughing so much. He hadn’t felt this way since before Kaine had started haunting his life.