He would rather be alive, but Lia couldn’t even say that aloud.

“Sorry. I need to go,” he said. “Text me whenever you want. I’m helping my dad cook now, but I’m not going to school for a few days.”

“Okay. You too. You can message me whenever you want.”

“Mom?” Lia wandered back into the living room and collapsed onto the couch next to her mom. Her dad couldn’t take off work, and she wasn’t sure she was upset about it. “Is it bad if I don’t go to the funeral?”

“No,” her mom said. “Honey, you didn’t even make it through Abby’s. It is perfectly fine not to go to Ben’s.”

Lia nodded. “I just feel bad not going, and I know it’ll be closed casket, but I know what he looks like and I can’t—”

“Lia, it’s fine.” Her mom scrolled through another news article about it. “Lord rest his soul, but I doubt Ben would have noticed you weren’t there.”

Lia winced. “That’s not nice. He would have. He might’ve been goofy, but he was great.”

“Lia.” She put down her phone and faced her daughter. “I’m sorry. You’re right, and that wasn’t what I meant. Ben Barnard was a very good boy, and he certainly wouldn’t want you to be sad on his account.”

Lia peeked at her mom’s phone: PROMISING FOOTBALL STAR STRUCK DOWN IN PRIME—RANDOM OR REVENGE?

Lia shook her head. Abby had been reduced to her promising test scores, and Ben now to his promising sport.

“Are you sadder about Abby dying?” Lia asked softly.

“I’m sad two very promising kids are gone,” her mom said. “I’m sad for them and what they could be, and for their parents.”

But what if Abby and Ben hadn’t been promising?

“Let us look at the one bright thing that may come from this.” Her mom picked up her phone again and wrapped her other arm over Lia’s shoulders. “Someone else might get Abby’s scholarship now and go on to do great things they might not have had a chance to do otherwise. Abby would like that.”

Abby would like living, and it would suck to wonder forever if you only got a reward because someone else died.

“They haven’t caught Ben’s killer yet,” Lia said. “They’re still out there.”

“Wherever he is, I am sure the police are closing in on him,” her mom said. She looked up, her gaze going from Lia’s face to her clenched hands. “Those families have been through enough. You’re not a detective. They don’t need someone stalking them and playing hero.”

But she already had stalked them. She knew nearly everything about Ben’s daily schedule and the daily lives of most of her classmates. Abby’s death was an accident, but Ben’s was intentional. How did they even know about his allergy? she wondered again.

Her phone dinged, and Lia jumped. It was the Council.

“I have homework,” Lia said too quickly and too loudly. “I’m going to go do it.”