“Mo-om.” He looked around, then lowered his voice. “Don’t say penis. We’re in public.”

“Are you wearing a condom?”

He flushed. “I’m not doing that with anyone.”

“You were last year.”

“I had a girlfriend. And I wore a condom. Can we please stop talking about it?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “Don’t be mad at your dad on my behalf, Coop. You should get to know him. If you don’t like who he is, then be mad at him.”

“Why are you so nice about him?”

“Because he’s your father. While I don’t like that he disappeared on me, I like how you and I turned out. I can’t miss having Jeremy around because he never was. I’m sorry for what you went through, wanting to know him, but other than that, I don’t think about him.”

“He should have paid child support.”

“That would have been nice, but the deal we signed absolved him of that.” Jeremy had given up his rights and she’d given up the promise of child support.

“You wouldn’t be mad if I spent time with him?”

Finally, she thought, grateful he’d gotten around to talking about the situation. “No. I’d miss you, but then I’d have a party every night.”

He didn’t laugh at that. When she glanced at him, she found him studying her. “You’re different, Mom. Not just the clothes, but something else.”

She felt herself flushing and quickly turned back to the otters. “You’re just saying that because I got a tattoo,” she said, hoping to change the subject. Because she had a feeling the difference wasn’t the tattoo but was instead the delicious nights with Keith.

“I can’t believe you did that,” he admitted.

“Me, either, but it’s pretty cool.” She drew her eyebrows together. “Not that I want you getting one.”

He grinned. “Too late. I’m already thinking about it.” His smile faded. “I want to spend some time with Dad this summer. Fly down to see him and stay with him. You okay with that?”

No, she wasn’t. She hated the thought of him with his father. She was still terrified Jeremy would be more interesting and exciting and tempt him with a fancy car and the promise of meeting movie stars. What if he went away and never came back?

But she couldn’t say any of that. Whatever she was feeling, she had to think of the greater good. It was the sucky part of parenting, but no less important than all the others.

“I’ll miss you,” she admitted, “But if you want to get to know him, this is a really good time.”

“Thanks, Mom. We’ve been talking about dates. We’ll pick them when we get home, okay?”

She nodded rather than saying anything. She didn’t want him to hear the sadness in her voice or figure out how scared she was. Her baby boy was all grown up. She’d done the best she could to raise him. Now she had to hope she didn’t end up losing him forever.