"Look at me," Wymack said. "Right now."

Neil dragged his stare up from Wymack's chest to his face. Wymack's expression was still too blank for Neil to feel safe, but he knew better than to look away again.

"I want you to understand something," Wymack said. "I am a loud, grouchy old man. I like to yell and throw things. But I don't throw punches unless some punk is dumb enough to try me first. I have never, ever hit someone without provocation, and I'm sure as hell not going to start with you. You hear me?"

Neil didn't believe him, but he said, "Yes, Coach."

"I'm serious," Wymack said. "Don't you dare be more afraid of me than you are of Andrew."

Neil could have told him it was Wymack's age that made him such a problem, but he didn't think Wymack wanted to hear it. There was no solution to that problem. "Yes, Coach."

Wymack gestured over his shoulder and stepped aside. "I already ate, but I haven't put the leftovers away yet. I'll take care of this. You take care of you."

Neil ate to the sound of the vacuum. Wymack was in his office by the time Neil was done, and Neil retired to the couch early. He wanted to get his bag and go through his folder, but he didn't want to intrude on Wymack's space, so he stared at the ceiling until he finally fell asleep.

It took Neil two weeks to decide he'd never meet Kevin's standards. It got to the point where he saw Kevin's look of cool disapproval every time he blinked. Half of the time Neil didn't know what he was doing wrong and the other half he couldn't change. He clocked a faster mile than any of them, but they were better and stronger than he was. Kevin knew Neil was inexperienced, but he didn't forgive Neil for his mistakes. Neil didn't want pity, but he did want understanding. When he caved and asked Nicky for advice on how to deal with Kevin, Nicky only smiled and said, "I warned you."

It did nothing for Neil's fraying patience. Luckily being angry at himself and loathing Kevin's condescending version of coaching meant he didn't have time or energy to be afraid. Two weeks of playing with the dysfunctional group and Kevin still gave no signs of recognizing him. All Kevin cared about was how short Neil fell on his court—and as far as Neil could tell, it was shorter and shorter by the day. Two weeks of Kevin's scornful dismissal and rude commentary wore away at Neil's resolve to take it easy. He didn't care if he blew out his arms again if it meant Kevin would stop riding him like he was an incompetent preschooler.

Everything was for Exy, from his early morning run to the hours he clocked at the gym to the afternoon scrimmages to the longer run he took in the evenings after dinner. He made loops around the campus and went up and down the stairs in the stadium. No matter what he did he was too slow, and he went to sleep in so much pain every night he could barely change for bed. By the time his third week started, he couldn't even sleep because he was too busy analyzing the day's mistakes.