John stared at his hands, at the vein in his thumb. Strange how sometimes it was hidden deep beneath his skin, at other times pulsed on the surface.

‘But if you come on board,’ the JIC major was saying, ‘then SIS have a use for you. Sprinkles of brilliance there, among a bunch of amateur duds.’

An offer he couldn’t refuse, as good as an order.

‘Yes, sir,’ he said.

‘I’ll inform the funnies,’ the major went on, adding, ‘MI6 to you.’ He ran his finger inside his collar. ‘They’ll take it from there. Any questions?’

‘What do I do?’

‘Do? You do as we say.’ He leaned back, twisting his mouth into a smile. John wasn’t sure whether it was meant to reassure, or to mock. ‘When their shopping list arrives, Second Lieutenant, we get a rough idea of the gaps in their cupboard. So we help fill it. We give them solid information to start with. Nothing that damages us. To establish your credentials. Good God—’ He stood up and walked to the window. ‘Did you see that? A European roller, if I’m not mistaken. Bright blue plumage.’ He leaned out of the window, head craned to his left. ‘Gone now. Rare round these parts.’ He returned to the table, sat down. ‘Cheers my heart up no end to see a rare bird like that,’ he said. ‘Almost as good as a pretty girl. Are you into birds, Lieutenant?’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘Or women?’

‘You were saying, sir,’ John said.

‘Yes.’ He sighed, pulled his chair closer. ‘Well then,’ he went on. ‘As time goes on, the information becomes not so much solid as supple. We see it as a spectrum, Second Lieutenant. Verifiable truths at one end. Downright lies at the other. But clever lies. Plausible lies.’

‘And my job is to feed this to them?’

‘Do you have qualms?’

‘But if they think I’m giving them the truth’ – that made him a double agent – ‘and then they discover it’s not, what happens then?’

‘What happens then?’ The major looked at his colleagues, eyes left, right. ‘If you’re rumbled, we’ll deny everything, that’s what will happen.’

John could feel his knees quiver. He was on his own now, no protection, not from anyone, not even his own side.

‘They’ll interrogate you,’ the major went on. ‘Try to squeeze out all the information you have. I don’t suppose they’re too scrupulous with their methods, Second Lieutenant, so you need to brace yourself. It won’t be a cosy chat, not like this.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Then I expect they’ll shoot you, that’s what will happen.’

I don’t want to do this, John wanted to say. I can’t do it. He was no hero. He wasn’t made for spying, wasn’t duplicitous enough. Wasn’t sure enough.