Jacob wiped his eyes and forced himself to look at his stepfather. “It gets confusing for me here…because I was really doped up. I must have made tracks…and pretty quickly because she was out of breath when she caught up with me. We were outdoors, in the middle of nowhere. At least, I had no idea where I was. Ruby was a mess—horrible. She apologized profusely. It threw me off. I’d never seen her so upset before. She said she was just playing a little game. That she had played the game other times with other guys and they all loved it. She just wanted me to have some fun with her. She was trying to…loosen me up. Then she said she was sorry that I got so mad. She became very contrite. She started to cry. She kept crying and crying and crying. She wouldn’t stop! At that moment, I don’t know…I felt sorry for her.”

Again, he blotted his wet eyes with his fingers—silent tears that reddened his pale blue eyes.

“I had no idea where I was, and she was so…distraught. I thought about…well, at least, maybe I should calm her down so she would take me home. Just end this hellish nightmare. I swore to God that if I ever got out of this mess, I’d take steps to clean myself up for good. Stop stealing, stop going to the parties, stop taking drugs, stop goofing off—”

“Jacob, this woman is missing—”

“I know I’m rambling,” Jacob whispered. “I’m trying to cut it to the bare bones, all right?”

“Okay.” Decker leaned over and Jacob involuntarily flinched. Nausea swept through Decker’s stomach, his dinner turning over in belly acid. He took the kid’s hand and kissed it. “Go on, son. It’s all right.”

Jacob heaved his shoulders. “We went back to the place. I tried to tell her that it was okay, that I wasn’t mad, that we should both just go home.” He looked away. “We started being physical again. I don’t know how it happened.”

A long pause.

“We…had sex. Just…plain…no-frills sex. It was over in about…thirty seconds.” He faced his father’s stern eyes. “I was a virgin.”

Decker felt his heart beating so fast it took his breath away. The kid was in so much pain, all he wanted to do was hug him and make the agony go away. But he held back. “Did she ridicule you?”