Wake up with it, hold on to it during the thunder and after a nightmare. When love is your refuge from the death that surrounds us all and when it fills you so tight that you can't express it.” He rocks forward and backward as tears stream down his face. Around us the Unconsecrated continue their moaning.

I think about Travis. About the way he said he would come for me. “I have known love,” I whisper, as much to myself as to my brother.

He lifts a corner of his lips, almost smiling. “You can't ever have known love.” I am about to protest when he holds up a hand to stop me and continues, “Because if you had you wouldn't be telling me to kill my wife as if it were an easy choice. You would realize that you don't let love go like that. And you would realize that you certainly never kill it. Never.” I take a step forward but I'm still wary of this wounded man, afraid that I may say the wrong thing and he will lash out again. I'm torn between fearing him and wanting desperately to comfort him. “Jed, you don't have a choice,” I tell him. “She's a risk to all of us.” It's as if he doesn't hear me, doesn't comprehend. “I just wanted another day with her,” he pleads. “One day to forget. To pretend there is no infection, no such thing as the Unconsecrated. One day to memorize her.”

“But the infection—”

“It's a small bite, Mary,” he tells me, his face folding in on itself as he says the words. “She has another two days at least, if not three.” His voice turns hollow. “Her infection is spreading slowly. If I have learned one thing as a Guardian it's how the living turn. I know the signs. I know what to look for.” He swallows. “She has time left.” I stare out into the Forest. I cannot imagine Beth becoming one of them. Becoming Unconsecrated.

“Please, Mary. Let me have this day and night with my wife. If you know love, then you understand what this means to me.”

I nod before I realize what I'm doing. He rushes to me and wraps his arms around me. But I'm still thinking about what he said about love. Even as he runs down the path to rejoin the others, to rejoin his wife.

I cradle my face in my hands, Jed's words grinding in my head. Guilt tears through my veins and I wonder if I ever did truly love Travis since I allowed myself to give up on him. To be bound to Harry. My betrayal sinks heavy in my skin.

I stay true to my promise: I don't tell the others about Beth. But I still watch her. I watch to make sure that Jed never leaves her side. Even without a weapon, I am ready to kill her, whether he is or not.