But Harry just laughs. “How ridiculous,” he says. And then he sees my face. Sees me calculating the Forest past the fences. He grabs me by the shoulders. “You don't honestly believe that, do you?”

My breaths come rapidly now and I nod my head.

Jed steps in at that moment. “Mary, you cannot be serious!” He pulls me away from Harry.

“Why would anyone expect someone to go out into that?” he says, waving a hand at the deep dark Forest.

“I don't know,” I tell him. “But it does not matter. This is the gate that will take us to the ocean.

To the end of the Forest.” I point to the metal bar. “It's marked with the number one. The letters correspond with numbers and this is the first gate. This has to be the way.” Hearing me, Harry throws his hands into the air and turns his back, his fingers massaging his temples as if that will help him control his apparent anger.

“Mary,” he says. He turns back to me and places his hand against my cheek and it slips down my face in the slick rain. He then takes my hand in his. I look at our twined fingers and it reminds me of the day down by the river when all of this first started.

Of the time we held hands under the water of the stream and he asked me to be his. All at once I realize all the pain I have caused him since then. The betrayal, the uncertainty.

“I'm sorry,” I tell him. The rain drips into my mouth as I talk. “I am so sorry for everything.” He tilts his head. “Why would you be sorry?” he asks.

“You would have been a good husband to me,” I tell him.

The truth dawns on him that I plan to go through the gate and leave him and his grip on my hand tightens. “I always cared for you, Mary.”

I smile then, just a little. I wonder for a moment what my life would have been like if I had never held Harry's hand under the water that day. If I had finished the laundry on time, joined my mother on the hill while she looked for my father. Kept her from straying too close to the fences and getting infected.

I never would have joined the Sisters, I never would have fallen in love with Travis or met Gabrielle. I never would have learned their secrets and pined for a life outside the fences. I would have married Harry; our children would have grown up knowing Cass and Travis's children, Jed and Beth's.

I could have been content. Maybe even happy.

But fulfilled?

Harry drops my arm from his grasp. “But we both know you didn't want to be with me.” I open my mouth to protest but he shakes his head. “You never did,” he adds.

I shake my head to clear it. “That world no longer exists,” I tell him. “We have to find our own way now. And for me that means going through the gate.” I glance over at Jed before continuing. “Please,” I tell Harry. “Go back to Cass. Stay with her and Jacob now. You know she hates the thunder.”