He grinned and nodded as if he was in total agreement. “You think your dad’s the one who gets tied up, too, huh?”

If anyone else had said it, the rage monster inside me would certainly have raised its head. Because it was Jules, I just looked at him and shook my head in disgust. “I don’t even know what to say to you right now. I really don’t.”

Jules’s eyes were dancing.

I could see he was fixing to say a lot more. “Now, you listen, and you listen well, Julius Blaine.”

He stretched his eyes wide and nodded his head up and down rapidly in a way that couldn’t have been more mocking if that was his life’s purpose.

“If you say one more word about the cuffs and any member of my immediate or extended family, I’m going to whup your ass and I’m going to suspend you in those cuffs—by your ankles—and then I’m going to make you watch while I sit on the sofa and eat every single one of the Mars Bars your mom sent. Got it?”

“Oh, yes, Mr. Big Boy. I’ve got it, Sir,” he said, clicking his heels together and saluting me vigorously.

I rolled my eyes again and sighed deeply.

“Just one thing, if you please, Mr. Sir Big Boy . . .” He tilted his chin down and looked up at me through his eyelashes. His eyes were lit up in pure mischief. “How d’you propose getting me up there, huh?”

Before I could reply, he gave me a stinging slap on the ass. My mouth opened in surprise, but before the squeak I was attempting to stifle made its way out of my mouth, he slapped my other cheek too.

“What the fuck, Jules?” I complained, taking a step or two forward.

“What? I’m just evening you out,” he said as if it was obvious.

I tried my best not to think about how much I wanted to pin him down on the floor. I tried to ignore the fact that I wanted to use my whole body to do it. I wanted to press my hips down against his. I wanted to use my chest and my arms and my hands against him. I wanted to feel him squirm beneath me. I wanted to do it skin against skin.

“You know what?” I said. “Why don’t you start unpacking the food, and I’ll see if I can find the bed linen.”

I banged around, opening and closing various cupboards, while Jules grumbled something about drawing the short straw. I found sheets, pillows, and a handmade quilt with elaborate embroidery depicting the eight phases of the moon.

“Holy shit,” Jules exclaimed as he unpacked. “Could they have sent any more protein? There’s literally a couple of bags of frozen berries and one bag of frozen peas. The rest is all meat, cheese, and eggs.”