I lie in the dark for a while, trying to think. To work things out. My thoughts become circular: I start by trying to think about a way to get a light source, cursing myself for leaving my phone on the bedside cabinet charging. Then I try and remember if the torch is under the stairs or in the jumble drawer in the kitchen, if we have candles in that same drawer, anything to light them with, and thoughts of light remind me of the flash I saw outside the window, brighter than daylight (I was lucky not to have been blinded, I think) and the heat from that blast, the burns on the back of my legs and what they probably mean, especially coupled with the rain that has fallen steadily since the blast, and my only question is how big a dose we took, how powerful, and I’m trying to feel like there could be a chance, if we get medical treatment soon, but the fire in my legs and the heat and force of the blast tell me that’s a fool’s hope, that there’s no medical help coming, not with enough medicine for a town this size, and the truth is, the dose is almost certainly untreatable, I’d know more if only I could see the damage to my legs… and the cycle starts again.

Time is slippery now, the only constant my daughter’s hot breath against my chest. My mind tries to move to her, or to Luke, and I pull it back to the floor and the darkness and the light, afraid, desperately scared of what will happen if I allow myself to start really facing them. It’s shock, sure, and I have no idea how much time has passed before light flickers into the bedroom, pale, blue, bright, and a familiar voice yells “Rob? Luke? Anyone home?”

It’s Pete, of Pete and Sharon fame. My neighbours.

“Pete!”

Charley stirs. I think about walking down the mattress to get close to the window, but I’m worried about the glass again. I settle for sitting up, smoothing the duvet back over her, tucking her in. The rain has cooled the air, but it’s not actually cold.

“Rob?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you and Luke okay? Charley?”

“I… Charley and me are okay, yeah. We’re… stuck, actually. In her room. There’s glass all over the floor and it’s pitch black…”

“Right! Right. Want me to come up? I’m… erm, the fence is down, which is how I got in the garden – I thought I’d better have a look and see if everything was okay, you know…”

“You okay? Sharon?”