“No,” I say, still distracted as I turn back around. “Never have.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Didn’t you just?”

Wyatt smiles, stealing another fry. “You learn fast.”

“What’s your question?” I slide my plate out of his reach so he’ll stop stealing my food.

“How did the whole thing with you and Josh start?” he asks. “You keep saying you weren’t looking for a boyfriend—”

I open my mouth, but before I can say anything, Wyatt corrects himself.

“And I’m not saying he was! But just hooking up seems like the first step on the boyfriend journey, you know?”

“Yeah, I mean … it was only ever supposed to be stress relief. Plus, my T shots make me pretty horny.”

Wyatt almost chokes on his water.

“He was kind of my first friend—” I say, but then I double back. “Actually, he was my first friend at Steerfield. Our moms are friends, so we only kind of knew each other. Then he went to Steerfield and I didn’t see him for a year.”

Wyatt doesn’t say anything.

“That story is also pretty dorky. Josh admitted to never having kissed anyone, and I have a lot of experience kissing people, so I volunteered to help him out. And he was actually surprisingly good at it for someone with no experience, so we kept going and going and, well … one thing led to another.”

“I see.” Wyatt’s voice has gone firm. He stares down at the table again, his fingers playing with the end of his fork.

“The next day, we both agreed that we liked it, but that we weren’t interested in relationships. So, we kept it casual, until …” My voice trails off.

“Until he said that he was in love with you.”

I nod.

“Wouldn’t it have been nice, though? To be in love?” Wyatt leans forward on his elbows.

“It’s just not for me.”

“Did something happen?”

Yes. “No, I just … I never felt that way for him. Josh was a friend with benefits, not a boyfriend. Besides, I’m sixteen; I’ve got my entire life to fall in love. Why bother with it in high school? Those relationships always fall apart anyway.”

“You don’t think it might’ve been worth a try, though?”

“Listen.” I don’t know why Wyatt is lingering on this subject, but I’m ready for a topic change. “I watched my parents fall out of love. I watched them argue and fight and resent each other. And I saw pictures; they were college sweethearts, so in love, they couldn’t get enough of being together.”

At least, that’s what Mom told me.

“But they got angrier the older they got, and it tore our family apart.”

Wyatt stares at me, unsure of what to say.

“Josh is my friend. One of my only friends. Falling in love means falling out of it sometimes, and I didn’t want to do that to him.”

“You could argue that rubbing his face in a fake relationship might make him angrier.”