Clearly, the “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse won’t work. And “it’s not me, it’s you” might make things too touchy. But there is one clause, one that Josh and I implemented.

Just in case.

“Okay, Josh. I didn’t … look, it might be a weird time to spring this on you. But if you want to know the truth, I’m going to tell it to you. Something happened; I wasn’t looking for it. It just … happened. And—I’m just going to say it. I’ve started to see someone. That’s really why we have to stop.” My monologue was probably a little dramatic, but I’ve got to sell the lie.

The Pull-Out Clause. Josh’s own invention. The perfect way out.

He stares at me, and I can see the gears turning behind his eyes.

Sure enough, it’s his turn to blurt out, “What?”

“I’m seeing someone. I’ve had feelings for this person for a while, but we made it official last night.”

“When did it start?”

“We’ve been dancing around it for a few weeks now, but we sealed the deal last night. Which means that you’re legally obligated to drop this whole discussion.”

“I’m not legally obligated, Neil. This isn’t a courtroom; there were no contracts. I still have questions.”

“But we agreed,” I gently remind him. “If one of us develops feelings for another person and things get serious, we end it.”

“You’re being such a dick.”

“Can’t be what you don’t have.”

The look Josh gives me tells me he doesn’t appreciate the perfectly timed comment.

“All I want to do is have a conversation with you, and you can’t even give me that?”

“I’m asking you to respect this boundary,” I tell him.

“And I’m asking you to treat me like a person.”

I pause, and we sit in the silence of the dorm room. I can’t stop myself from biting the inside of my cheek, waiting for whatever’s about to come next.

What do I have to do to convince him that we’re over, we’re done, that we’ll go back to being friends and that’s it, we’ll just have to forget about everything that happened between us?

“I just … I don’t like how things have been left,” Josh finally says.

I’ll admit, I don’t like how we’ve left things either, but I really don’t think that I’m in a place where I can have this conversation with him.

Josh keeps talking. “And some new guy? This is the first time I’ve heard about this.”

“It happened very suddenly,” I lie.

“Who is it? Do I know him? It’s not Samuel, is it? Hoon?”