“I cried the night that we ended things, and I cried the night after. I hid in the bathroom on the plane and cried. I had to explain to my parents what happened to us. And I had to spend a lot of time thinking about why it never worked between us, why we couldn’t have had something more, if I had done something wrong. It sucked, Neil. It really, really sucked. All I wanted you to do was to treat me like a person, but you couldn’t even give me that while you broke my heart.”

I don’t say a word because I don’t know if I’m allowed to.

“I loved you, and I still love you.” Josh licks his lips. “It hurt to see that you’d moved on so quickly, especially with someone you’d told me you hated. Like, I really couldn’t remember a single positive thing that you’d said about Wyatt.”

He takes a breath and releases it. I don’t say a thing.

“Deep down I probably knew that it was fake.” He chuckles softly. “I mean, really. The plan was pretty ridiculous.”

“Yeah.” My mouth feels so dry.

“But when I saw the two of you together, that changed.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I believed it. I believed the two of you were in love. I realized there was something that Wyatt could clearly give you that I couldn’t. Maybe it was space, or maybe it was time. Maybe it was a different type of love. I don’t know. But … I could tell.”

“I don’t even know if that’s true,” I say. “When I look at you, I still have all those memories of the things that we did together, the dates we went on, the nights we spent with each other. I still feel something for you.”

“And I’m still in love with you. I don’t know where you got this idea that it’d only take me a week to get over you, but … yeah, no. But I also know that we’re done.”

“Do you think that we can go back to being friends?” I ask.

This might be the answer I’m most afraid of. If all this ends with Josh deciding he can’t be a part of my life anymore, and that I can’t be a part of his, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

“I don’t think I’m ready for that right now,” he says. “I mean, it’s only been a week.”

Oh.

“But I want to be friends again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We’ve just got to get there. Slowly, I think.”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.” That’s better than nothing.

“Feelings are weird. So, it’s okay for now.” Josh leans in closer. “I still can’t believe you dragged Wyatt into all of this.”