“There he is!” Samuel shouts as I trudge down the steep dirt hill that we use as a walkway.

“Here I am,” I say, making my way toward them. They’ve got a fire going even though the sun is still out. Samuel and Julien are occupying the couch. Hoon brought the camping chairs from his room because, like me, he doesn’t trust a couch that lives outside. “Where’s Mark?” I ask when I notice that we’re down a person.

Or two people, I guess.

“He left early with his parents,” Hoon says.

Julien hands me a beer out of a bag that looks like it’s from the CVS down the street. So that’s new.

“No bourbon?” I ask.

“Dad was catching on,” he says. “Gotta be careful. He won’t miss his cheap beers, though.” Julien’s parents live in Charlotte, so he typically goes home on the weekends, always bringing back goodies for us.

“Sure.” I open the can and take a sip, my mouth twisting at the bitterness. “This is awful.”

“Big baby,” Julien chides. “Don’t like it, don’t waste it.” He holds out his hand to take the beer away from me, but I snatch it back.

“No way, I need this after the day I’ve had.”

“Oh yeah, we heard about—” Hoon starts to say, but I cut him off.

“Don’t mention Josh. This is a Josh-free zone tonight. I don’t want to think about him, I don’t want to talk about him, I don’t even want to hear his name anymore. No more of that.” I take my seat next to Hoon in the empty camping chair.

Suddenly, things get quiet, with nothing but the crack of the fire and some far-off cicadas making a racket. The guys are making a tremendous effort to not look at me. I can see where this is going from a mile away.

“So anyway.” Samuel leans forward. “What happened between you two?”

“I told you not to say his name.”

“Technically he didn’t,” Hoon cuts in.

I give Hoon a glare before I go back to my drink. I don’t even really like alcohol in most forms—I don’t think any of us do—it’s just become a ritual of sorts. “Whatever. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are things going to get awkward now?” Hoon asks. His face is already flushed from however much he drank before I got here.

“I don’t know, Hoon—why don’t you ask Josh? He’s the one who broke the rules.”

“The rules?” Julien asks.

I don’t answer him. Things get quiet again, and suddenly I wish I hadn’t come here.

“Where is Josh?” Hoon asks.

I stare at him.

“In his room,” Julien says. “I checked on him earlier, but he said he wanted to be totally alone. I think you really broke his heart, Neil.”