The strange bit was that when we were queuing up in the car to get into the drive-in, Mum would leave me sitting up in the back but squash Caleb and Ruthy on the floor with a rug over them and tell them to be perfectly still and quiet. When it was our turn, Dad would say, ‘Two adults and one under twelve,’ and pretend Caleb and Ruthy weren’t in the car.

I said, ‘Isn’t that telling a lie and like stealing?’ and Dad said no because we didn’t say they weren’t there, and the person could have checked for themselves, but I think it wasn’t quite right. And given Mum used to constantly look at me and say, ‘Would you have done that if Jesus was standing next to you?’ I wondered what she’d say if I asked her the exact same question. But I never did of course, because I am often naughty, but I’m not stupid.

CHAPTER 10

All of a sudden it was the Saturday of the church union exams. Caleb was still unwell but said he wanted to do his exam, which made Mum very happy and proud. She called him her little disciple. She had had a few Jesus days in that time. This usually happened when she went to the church’s women’s group or Bible class and came home feeling more godly and calm. For some reason she went to more of these classes for a couple of weeks around this time, and we all got the benefit.

I asked Ruthy if she thought Mum was going more often because she was sad about Sixpence, but she just snorted and said it was more likely that she was praying for precious Caleb, which wasn’t like Ruthy, who usually took Mum’s side, even when she’s cross. Dad seemed pleased Mum was going frequently, so they didn’t argue quite as much. We were relieved when Ruthy could write ‘Jesus day’ on the top of a journal page, and we tried to keep everything as happy as possible so they would last.

We helped each other to be good. Ruthy was especially helpful because she seemed to naturally be a better child and could catch me or Caleb starting to do the wrong thing and hiss a warning at us, which often made us stop and get out of Mum’s way.

I had been trying to do some extra revision, and Ruthy tutored me after we went to bed. In the weeks before the exam, Mum and Dad allowed us an extra hour to study with the light on before we went to sleep. Ruthy was nicer to me than usual, but she said it was because I was nicer than usual and I don’t know which one of those was true. I don’t think I was nicer. I think I was just sadder.

I thought about Sixpence every day. I visited her grave after school. Mr Driver and Ruthy had helped me build a little house to mark the spot where she was buried. It was about eight inches square, and it had a door and two windows, and Mr Driver made a little postbox to go with it. Mr Driver made it out of bits of timber, and screwed and glued it together for us, and Ruthy helped me paint it. I painted it sky blue with big white dots on it, and Ruthy said she thought it was a bit bright for a tombstone but Mr Driver said he thought it was fine and he was happy to have it in his garden. He pulled up weeds around it and planted some little white seaside daisies he said Mrs Kerfoops across the street let him have for nothing. I don’t think her name was Mrs Kerfoops, but for some reason it’s what all the neighbours called her. Ruthy said it was because she had a very long, complicated Greek name that no one could say properly.