‘You do that, son, and don’t worry about her. I’ll take good care of her. She’s my mate.’

I jumped into bed and pretended I was asleep as he quietly opened the door to look in on me. I wasn’t ready to talk about what I’d just heard. I put my head under the blankets and thought about Mum not handing over Daniel’s letters, and Mum and Dad forbidding Daniel to be a lawyer, and most of all, Mum being the one who made Daniel go away, and some of me was frightened, but a tiny, pinky-toe-sized piece of me thought, Well I’m not the only one she’s pushed away. I’m not the only one she’s pushed away. I’m not the only one …

CHAPTER 22

A few days’ stay with Mr Driver stretched into a few weeks.

Mr Bednarski gave Daniel a job until he could start his university course the following year. Daniel said Dad was quite fine about him becoming a lawyer, and I could tell this made him feel very relieved. He didn’t say anything about Mum, and I didn’t ask. Dad and Daniel left for work together every morning and went straight in to see Mum as soon as they got home. They took it in turns to slip over to Mr Driver’s to see me when they could. Every time I heard Dad or Daniel come through the back door, I hoped they were coming to take me home. But they asked me to stay put for a while longer because Mum was quite unwell and not getting over Caleb’s death yet.

The Christadelphians held a special Sunday school meeting for everyone to remember Caleb. They’d waited for Mum to come home to hold the ceremony, but she was too upset to attend, so they went ahead without her. So many people wanted to come that they took over the rear hall because the Sunday school rooms upstairs weren’t big enough. Dad attended the Memorial Meeting in the morning and drove back to collect us for the 3 pm service. I was still allowed to go to Sunday school.

I wished Mum had come to the special Caleb afternoon because, although we all cried, it was very lovely. Lots of people got up and said nice things about him, including Dad. I was very worried about him talking to a big group about Caleb, but although his eyes filled with tears, and his voice caught a few times, he made it through and what he said was marvellous.

After the talks and a hymn, we sat in circles and each person had to say something they remembered about Caleb and thank God for giving him to us, even though it was for a very short time. I told them about the time Mum locked me in the laundry for being naughty, and Caleb pushed a lolly snake through the keyhole.

Ruthy wrote a lovely letter to God about him, and one of the Sunday school teachers read it out. It made everyone yowl and bawl it was so good. Dad was very proud of her and planned to frame the letter. I thought this was a great idea, although it would mean there would be Ruthy’s letter for Caleb, and Ruthy’s church exam prize and Ruthy’s writing certificate on the wall, and nothing about being proud of me. But when I thought that thought, I realised it was selfish, and gave Ruthy an extra hug to say how glad I was for her.