‘Take a breath, Anita. It’s when the placenta comes away from the wall of the uterus.’

‘It’s caused by trauma, yeah?’

‘Can be. Not always. But yes, sometimes it’s from abdominal trauma, like a car accident. Why are you asking? Has someone—’

‘Brooke Lester. She showed up at Royal Women’s last night bleeding. She rang her mum and dad, or the hospital did—I’m not sure. Anyway, the parents called Rohan from the hospital and they told him she’d had an abruption.’

‘How serious? Did she lose the baby? Did they have to—’

‘Hang on a sec. Rohan’s talking to someone right now about that. Hang on.’

Paula stood in the kitchenette, listening to the burble of voices in the background of the call. She could vaguely make out the sound of Rohan talking to someone on another line and Anita interjecting with questions.

It was a long time since Paula had done obstetrics, but she’d never forgotten a case she’d observed during her residency—a baby stillborn after the mother had been injured in a car smash. She reminded herself that most babies survived an abruption and mothers almost always did, unless the injury was severe, unless a lot of blood had been lost. Paula ran her hand rhythmically back and forth along the curved laminate edge of the benchtop to calm herself.

Eventually Anita came back on the line.

‘Sorry about that. Good news: Brooke’s okay. She needed a blood transfusion and they had to do an emergency caesarean. Shit—sorry, I need to go. Have to take this call.’

‘Wait. The baby? Have they said if the baby is okay?’

‘I’m not sure.’

Paula heard more indecipherable talk with Rohan, then Anita came back to say, ‘Yes, both okay, apparently. Let me find out more and I’ll ring you later.’

During her afternoon appointments, Paula kept her phone on silent but face up on the desk. That way, if a call came in from Anita, she could excuse herself and take it.

This urgency, the electric current running through her, the need to stay on alert for any news about Brooke Lester—well, it was ridiculous. There was no practical need for Paula to be kept informed and she was of no use to the woman. But for her own sake, Paula needed reassurance. And that was understandable. If a patient were to come in to the surgery right now with anything like Paula’s recent history of trauma, she would respond to that person with compassion.

‘Of course you feel distressed,’ she would say. ‘Of course you’re excessively focused on this young woman with an abusive partner. Of course you’re seeking peace of mind by assuring yourself this woman is safe.’

Paula would never scold or shame such a patient and she understood she should offer herself the same kindness. But it wasn’t easy to do that.