And it was true that Matt took to fatherhood surprisingly well for a man who had always seemed so infantile himself. From the start, he was devoted to the kids—energetic, playful, more upbeat than Paula had ever seen him.

There were photos Paula still had in a folder on her phone: Matt with Poppy on his shoulders and Cameron swinging like a monkey off his outstretched arm; another shot of Matt and both kids asleep in a happy tangle on the sofa. No one who looked at those photos could imagine that man would pursue his two children through a house and shoot them in the back of the head.

Halfway between the medical practice and home, Paula pulled over to the side of the road, not sure she was safe to drive.

Twice during the last week, Paula had driven past Brody Ferguson’s school at three-thirty in the afternoon. There were so many vehicles and people around at pick-up time, no one would notice one more car proceeding slowly past the school gates. The first time, she spotted Brody among the pack of kids before he trotted out to meet his grandmother. Paula smiled and absorbed the immediate calming effect, like an infusion of a wonderful drug that someone should’ve invented. The second time, Rochelle was the one waiting at the gate to meet her boy and that was even better—to see the mother and child together and safe.

This afternoon, it was too late for school pick-up time and, anyway, it felt creepy to drive past the school or the Ferguson house again. She considered parking near the day spa where Rochelle worked. Paula had done that one morning—hopped out of her car, wandered by the shopfront and glanced in to see Rochelle at the front counter chatting to a client. Luckily Rochelle hadn’t noticed her, but even if she had, Paula could easily have made a fancy-seeing-you-here face without making the woman uncomfortable. Through the swirly mauve signage on the plate glass window, Rochelle had appeared cheerful, strong, calm, and that was consoling to Paula.

Even so, she knew she had to stop this behaviour. Instead, she drove straight home and made do with visualising Rochelle and her son, alive and safe.