Tears pricked my eyes, but I blinked them back. I hadn’t seen Thomas or Louise since Izzy’s funeral, where I’d spotted them across the church and just as quickly avoided all eye contact. I could hold myself together around most people. People who didn’t really care about me or Junie. People who barely knew us or made mouth noises about how sorry they were. But Thomas and Louise had known Junie since the day she was born. Thomas had rocked Junie for hours when she had colic as a baby. Louise had been the one to teach me to talk to Junie even when she was too young to know what I was saying. My mama thought words were wasted on babies: What’re you talking to her for? Only thing she understands is your tit in her mouth. Without Thomas and Louise those early years would have been so much harder. They had held Junie in their arms and watched her grow. Loved teasing me about how smitten I was with my daughter. They knew the truth. Outside I was still a functioning human. But inside I was ripped to shreds. “Not so good,” I told him, flicked the cigarette away. I didn’t even know why I was smoking it. It was a nasty habit, made my mouth taste like my mama used to smell. Sour and edged with violence. It scared me a little how comforting that taste was right now. “I want to come back to work.”

Thomas mulled that over. I could see his brain working behind his eyes. “You sure that’s a good idea? I can float you a loan, you know. No need for you to do more than you’re able right now.”

I shook my head. “I can’t sit around all day. It’s making me crazy.” Making me think about doing things, things only my mama would approve of. I picked up a pebble and bounced it in my hand. “I promise I’ll behave. I won’t cry into anyone’s coffee, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Thomas made a gruff sound in his throat. “I don’t care if you sob all day long. It’s not you I’m worried about. It’s all the lookie-loos around here. Asking questions and sticking their noses in where they don’t belong.”

“I can handle it,” I said, but my words had the ring of bravado rather than truth. Thomas patted my knee lightly. “Why don’t you wait and see,” he said. “Give it a few more days.”

We sat in silence then, listening to stray bits of trash blowing up against the chain-link fence across the alley. In the distance I could hear occasional cars passing on the highway, the smell of the dumpster thankfully overpowered by the wind bringing a faint scent of spring flowers. It was surprisingly peaceful back here. I felt hidden, and part of me never wanted to get up, had a vague notion of roosting on these steps for the foreseeable future.

“Oh Lord,” Thomas said. “We got company.” He stood up, dusting off the seat of his pants. “And not the good kind.”