‘Ain’t heard of that before. If them zombies get tooled up, life is gonna get a whole lot harder.’

He looked at Brooke. Her eyes were black and blue. The rest of her face had a yellowish tint. There were spots of dark blood on the bandage and her lips were cracked and dry and flaking.

‘Do I look as krutters as you?’ he asked.

‘You don’t look too piff, to be honest, soldier, but then I don’t know what you looked like before.’

‘Never was no R-Patz.’

‘That’s a relief,’ said Brooke. ‘Not my type. You shoulda seen me before, though,’ she added. ‘I’d a broken your little heart.’

‘Doubt it,’ said Achilleus, sitting up and groaning with the effort. ‘Take a lot to break this heart.’

‘I can imagine.’

Achilleus closed his eyes and let out his breath in a long sigh.

‘There’s people here can help,’ said Brooke. ‘We got drugs, antiseptic, yeah, that kind of thing. Some antibiotics, but we got to be careful with them. I was going to go over and see about it. You want to roll with me?’

‘Sure. If I can ever get out of this bed.’

‘You want me to help you?’

‘Yeah. Why not?’

Brooke took hold of one hand and hauled Achilleus hard. He swore and for a moment felt like he might faint again. He fought it, grunted and stood up. As he waited for his head to clear and the pain to subside, he spotted Paddy fast asleep on an inflatable mattress on the floor at the foot of his bed. Paddy’s mouth was open and he was snoring loudly.

‘Lazy little tyke,’ Achilleus said and went over to give him a kick. ‘Rise and shine, caddie. We’ve got some golf to play.’

‘Wha …?’ Paddy looked very confused. So Achilleus picked up the side of the mattress and rolled him on to the floor. Paddy swore at Achilleus, who laughed at him.

‘If you want to be my slave you got to stick by me at all times, Paddywhack. Ready for anything. You’re no use to me asleep.’

‘Yeah, sorry, Achilleus, yeah, I’m on it.’ The area around Paddy’s mattress was scattered with Halo action figures; he must have been playing with them before he went to sleep. Now he hurriedly packed them away into his backpack and pulled on his trousers.

‘You want your weapons?’ he asked, looking around for the golf-bag.

Achilleus looked at Brooke. Brooke shook her head.

‘Nah,’ said Achilleus and he booted Paddy up the backside. ‘But get your scrawny Irish arse in gear. My head hurts and I’ve got a doctor’s appointment.’