And here is what I cannot remember: My hand arcing through the air toward that boy’s face. I remember the hateful words he used. I remember my immediate, overwhelming remorse in the moments afterward. I remember the way he looked at me, with such sorrow and, what’s worse, pity. But I cannot remember the moment I hit him. You would think I would. A blow like that. Something so shameful. But perhaps that is why I’ve forgotten.

Jon was beside us in a moment. He stood next to the boy solicitous, shocked, and speechless. “Jerome … I … You better come with us to Fox’s office.” He barked a few terse instructions to the rest of the team, who dispersed quickly. They too were stunned, of course. I couldn’t seem to stop the tears from running down my face. I kept thinking, I’ve got to get myself in hand here, but I couldn’t. We must have been quite a sight, going into Fox’s office. Fodder, I’m sure, for weeks of gossip.

It was all over rather quickly after that. Jon had no choice but to tell Fox what he had seen. And then the boy asked if Ms. Hansen could come in, and together they showed Fox his Latin midterm and we went over it point by point—Fox is an old Latin scholar himself—well, there wasn’t much to say after that. She never looked at me. She never once looked at me. At the end of these recitations, Fox’s face was flushed. He sent the boy, Jon, and Jana out of the room; sat back in his chair; looked at me wordlessly.

“I guess all I can do at this point is offer my resignation. And my deepest apologies,” I said. “I honestly don’t know what happened. Please believe me when I say that, Ted.”

“I do. But you must see the position I’m in. For God’s sake, Jerome, you hit a student. After nearly flunking him for no good reason. For God’s sake.”

I said nothing. Fox sighed deeply. “I’ll be as fair as I can with you. But I think it best that you clear out your office today. You have until the end of the month to move.” His voice went ragged, and he said nothing else. I left the office without looking back. The Bryson boy and Jana and Jon were still standing there as I left. They did not speak. I said nothing to them.

Did I think Fox would defend my actions? They cannot be defended. I saw that even then. As we sat in that room, going over the test, it was as if scales fell away from my eyes. He had, in fact, passed the test by a reasonable margin. I didn’t even realize I had graded him so unfairly. I just wanted him to see that life would not always hand him what he wanted. That it wasn’t so easy to throw away people’s good efforts, my good efforts.