She stood silent, letting her last few words sink in. Essentially, she warned, there were no limits on presidential power. And Wrightman had exceeded them.

As Howie and I were driving back to Arlington I felt a long-dormant surge of excitement. If I didn’t know it was impossible, I could have sworn I felt it in my legs. But that, I knew, was my mind playing jokes on my body. I was feeling the same type of exhilaration I’d chased during my operational days, when I was applying camouflage or putting on a disguise or winding down. Overcover or undercover, I was going into the mix, I was in the game. I’d gotten a whiff of that tonight. For a long time I’d been pounding out copy that didn’t seem to make any difference. I didn’t have the slightest idea whether this was just revolutionary masturbation or the beginning of something important. I just knew it felt great to get off my ass and do something.

Before Howie hopped out, I apologized for my outburst earlier that morning, when I’d watched him fold in front of the Homeland Security agents. There was a stew of emotions roiling his voice as he took one really deep breath and responded, “I didn’t have a choice. Those guys were as serious as the pandemic. If this thing keeps going south, we’re going to need each other.”

My apartment felt emptier than usual that night. Jenny had worked late and had decided to go to her place. I gave her my usual chipper Rollie when we spoke, telling her my meeting with a potential source had gone okay. She knew not to ask any more questions. Boy, I hated lying to her. There was a part of me that wanted to set a small trap that would allow me to dig into her psyche and find out what was really going on; another part just wanted to ask the question out loud, rather than letting it hang there. It was like trying to grab a fistful of cotton candy.

Instead, when we said good night, I just told her flat out, “You know I love you.” And as I said it, I realized that I meant it.

Her response was the ultimate payback: a long thoughtful silence. Maybe she was wondering where those words had come from, and why so suddenly? “Yeah?” she said finally. “Okay, then I love you too.”

Did her response lack conviction? I wondered. It sure sounded to me like it did. Maybe she didn’t really mean it. Maybe she just didn’t want to hurt my feelings? My mind wasn’t playing tricks; instead, it seemed to be playing the bongos in my chest.

“Say good night to Cher for me, please.” And she was gone.

Not gone actually, just moved into my dreams. In those dreams she was lying next to me. Her body was warm and willing. I licked my index finger and drew small circles around her nipple. It hardened to my touch. Then I slowly moved my fingers down the contours of her body, resting finally on her firm inner thigh. She drew her legs together and made a small sound of pleasure.