“Go ahead, live it up.”

“Here’s the other thing,” he continued. “Whatever happened in that garage, the government obviously is trying to build a case against you for who knows what. Aiding and abetting, maybe? Collaborating with the enemy? It’s bullshit, I know that, but those are serious charges, so you need to pay attention to it. Far as the American public knows, this guy was a terrorist, and rather than turning him in, you were meeting secretly with him.”

When you put it that way … Shit! I turned to Reich and took one long and very deep breath. Then I asked, “You finish all the juice?”

I called Howie first thing the following morning. I’d spent a long restless night trying to decide how to proceed. I’d made a difficult decision: I’d fought for my country on distant battlefields and I wasn’t about to stop fighting for those same values at home. The existence of a secret law passed in secret flouting the First Amendment was something every American had to know about. I didn’t care what they said, it couldn’t possibly withstand a legal challenge. When I got Howie on the phone I began, “You aren’t going to believe this…”

I told him about the visit, the warning, and my decision. “Soon as I get out of here, I’m writing it. Fuck the consequences. Let ’em bring charges against me. Imagine what that’s going to look like, Wrightman throws a handicapped veteran in prison for telling the truth.”

Howie listened as I rambled on. When I finally asked him what he thought, he told me in a voice so soft I had to strain to hear him. “There’s no easy way for me to tell you this, Rol. But we can’t run it.”

That certainly was not what I expected to hear. “What are you talking about? Of course we can.”

“No,” he insisted in a voice mellowed with frustration, embarrassment, and probably some pain. “We can’t.” I could almost hear him swallowing his pride. “We had some visitors here too,” he continued. “Long story short, if we run anything about it, they’re going to shut us down.” I tried to interrupt, but he spoke right over me. “The reality is, they can do it. You know damned well what I’d do if it was just you and me, but it isn’t. There’s a bunch of other people here that I’m responsible for. So I’m asking you, as a friend, give it a little time till the pressure eases up. This is just one story. I promise you, we’ll find other ways of making the point…”

“One story?” I exploded. “Are you fucking me? The government of the United States is fucking with the First Amendment and you, you’re going to let them do it? What happened to that journalistic integrity you’re always telling—”

“Don’t do this, Rollie. Don’t make it harder than it already is.”

“What happened to you, Howie? When did you become a fucking coward?” By the time I caught myself, I had already blurted it out. I shut up. He didn’t deserve that. But even as I was venting, on some visceral level I understood Howie’s decision. And truthfully, I wasn’t sure he was wrong. For the Pro. But not for me. I knew the next words out of my mouth might determine the fate of our friendship.