I said nothing to the receptionist, as it was none of her fault. But a leaden feeling was descending on me. This was the worst of all worlds, a situation I recognized from past experience. I had already spent unexpected money during this trip: buying the arctic outer clothing, being hit with baggage excess charges during the flights. The hotel bill alone was likely to use up most of what I had at present in my account. I rarely have surplus money, and this was going to clean me out. But also, a particular dread: from past experience I knew what the words ‘settlement in due course’ from a university meant in reality. Weeks and months of waiting lay ahead.

Then there was the honorarium. How and when was that to be paid?

‘Do you have your bank card to hand, citizen sir?’ the receptionist said, bringing forward the remote card reader.

‘Of course. But I am trying to understand what I am being charged for.’

She leaned across the desk and indicated each item with her pen.

‘We have listed everything separately,’ she said, in a patient but noncommittal voice. ‘This is the main charge, for one night in the room. This amount here is for your dinner in the grill room last night – each course is shown separately, as are the couvert, the drinks and the optional service charge. Then there is the bar bill. Again, everything you ordered is itemized. This amount here is the standard hotel wifi charge, based on your two accesses to the internet. You used your home island’s protocols, not the Dearth defaults.’

‘I didn’t know there was a difference.’

‘Dearth defaults would have been less expensive.’ She indicated the bill again. ‘There are two internet accesses under your home protocol. The second amount is higher because of the broadband mutability increase. From 6 per cent to 47 per cent, as shown here. You would have confirmed acceptance of that before going online?’ I looked up at her, met her bland gaze. I nodded mutely. ‘Finally, there is breakfast, normally included in the room charge, but the instructions we had from Professor Wendow were that breakfast should be an optional extra.’

Beneath all these were three extra amounts, each of them huge. I tried to make sense of what they might mean and why they had been applied to my bill.

The first two were identically described as Standard Levy – electrical mutability abuse.

The third was called Seignioral surcharge – unauthorized horizontal prejudice.

‘What are these?’ I said, already suspecting the worst.

‘They are not hotel charges. We are obliged to charge our guests for them, and pass them on. The first two – it appears you exited your room without turning off the lights. That is a standard compensation fee set by the utility provider.’