Meanwhile, Pan and I spent weeks trying to figure out what we wanted to do with the rest of our lives. Merellä didn’t feel like home to me, and Förening was too small with too few options. Pan suggested Ottawa, but I’d never lived with humans before. He said it casually, but that night, when we went to bed, I lay awake thinking about what he said.

“I’ve just never lived with humans before,” I said finally. He was lying on his side, facing me, and he was half asleep, but he blinked and looked at me.

“What are you talking about?”

“Moving to Ottawa,” I explained. “I just don’t know how I’ll feel being around humans all the time.”

“You realize that I’m human, right?” he asked. “And you’re basically human too?”

“No, it’s not that.” I rolled over to face him. “I mean I’ve never lived in the human world. It seems more fast-paced and aggressive.”

“Sometimes it is,” Pan allowed. “But most of the time, it’s neither of those things. Unless you live in New York or something.”

“Then we should cross those places off our list,” I said.

“Wait.” He sat up a bit, propping himself up on his elbow. “Are you saying you want to move to a human city?”

“I’m saying that I’m up for it if you are.” I smiled at him as nervous butterflies filled my stomach.

“Yes.” Pan kissed me. “Let’s go for it.”

A few days later, I was at the apartment packing things up. Dagny was moving into staff housing at the Mimirin, and Pan and I were getting ready to go out on our own into the world, so we didn’t need it anymore.

While I packed up all the misshapen clay mugs the kids had made me, Dagny and Pan were patching the nail holes in the wall and reminiscing about all the delicious food that Hanna had made at the beginning of the summer.

“That feels like a lifetime ago,” I said.

“That’s what happens when you live several lifetimes in a few months,” Dagny replied matter-of-factly.

Someone knocked at the door, and Brueger—who had tagged along to watch us pack—let out a surprised bark.

“It’s okay, buddy. I got it.” I scratched his head as I went to answer the door.

And there was Ridley Dresden—Bryn’s longtime boyfriend—on my front steps. He was pale and a little scruffy, but otherwise he looked about as good as he had the last time I’d seen him. But still, there was a dimness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

He gave me an uncertain smile, and I pulled him into a hug. I hadn’t seen him since . . . Bryn was still alive. As soon as I had my arms around him, he started to cry, and then I did too.