He could have wept. If Jester had only showed up a few hours earlier, then Arran would never have gone up to the pool with the scav party. Deke would still be alive, and Small Sam too, probably. Then Arran wouldn’t have this bloody bite in his neck. It was typical to be shown a way out, to be offered a place of safety, to have hope dangled in front of you, only to have it snatched away like this.

It just wasn’t fair. He might make it to the palace only to drop dead.

Whatever happened, he was going to make sure that they all got there safely, though. His kids. Even if it was the last thing he did. He had to focus on that and not brood over anything else. He was responsible for this lot and he wasn’t going to let them down.

He needed to take his mind off his injury. He saw Freak, trudging along, head down, staring at the ground, his hood pulled forward to cover as much of his face as possible.

“You all right, mate?” he asked.

Freak grunted. Could have been yes or no.

“D’you mind leaving the shop?”

Freak shrugged. Since he’d gone crazy in the battle last night he’d slipped back to being silent and moody.

“There wasn’t anything more you could have done,” said Arran kindly. “Even if we had got Deke away from there. He had glass in his side. His lung was punctured.”

“I know,” said Freak. “I just miss him, is all. He used to make me laugh. Nothing else did. He made me forget all this.”

“If I knew any jokes I’d tell you one,” said Arran.

“Don’t bother, mate. You’re terrible at telling jokes.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Arran. “Always have been. Luckily I was good at soccer, so it didn’t matter. That’s what I’d really like to do, you know, play soccer again. First thing when we get there, I’m going to set up a game. You’ll play, won’t you?”

“If we get there.”

“We’ll get there,” said Arran.

“I wish I had your confidence,” said Freak bitterly.

Arran said nothing. He might have fooled Freak, but he wasn’t fooling himself. So far they’d seen no signs of any life at all, but he doubted it would stay that way. They’d definitely have to deal with grown-ups somewhere along the way. The image of the mother at the pool—his mother?—came unwanted into his head again.

“It’s not my mother,” he said without meaning to.

“You what?” Freak gave him a puzzled look.

“Nothing,” said Arran, and he pressed a palm against his hot temple.

“Listen, Freak,” he went on. “This might be tough, getting there and all, and we’re going to need all the help we can get. You walking along like that, looking like crap, it’s going to make the little kids scared. Be tough for them, yeah?”

Freak raised his head and stared at Arran.

“How did it end up like this?” he said. “We’re just kids ourselves.”