“Don’t give me an excuse about saving your metals,” Gemmel said, inspecting the keep just ahead. “I’ve met children of the streets. They don’t conserve. If you come at one of them, they’ll use everything they have - every scrap of strength, every last trick — to take you down. They know how close to the edge they walk. Pray you never have to face one of those, pretty boy. They’ll rip you, chew you up, and make new reserves for themselves out of what you leave behind.”

“I was going to say,” Kelsier said calmly, “that you haven’t even told me what we’re doing tonight.”

“Infiltrating this keep,” Gemmel said, eyes narrowing.

“Why?”

“Does it matter?”

“It sure as hell does.”

“There’s something important in there,” Gemmel said. “Something we’re going to find.”

“Well, that explains everything. Thank you for being so forthcoming. Could you possibly enlighten me on the meaning of life, since you’re so great at answering questions all of a sudden?”

“Don’t know it,” Gemmel said. “I think it’s so we can die.”

Kelsier suppressed a groan, leaning against the wall. I said that, he realized, fully expecting to get some dry remark in return. Lord Ruler, I miss Dox and the crew.

Gemmel didn’t understand humor, even pathetic attempts at it. I need to get back, Kelsier thought. Back to people who care about living. Back to my friends.

That thought made him shiver. It had only been three months since the... events at the pits of Hathsin. The cuts on his arms were mostly just scars now. He scratched at them anyway.

Kelsier knew his humor was forced, his smiles more dead than alive. He didn’t know why he found it so important to hold off returning to Luthadel, but it was. He had exposed wounds, gaping holes in himself that had yet to heal over. He had to stay away. He didn’t want them to see him like this. Insecure, a man who huddled in his sleep, reliving horrors still fresh. A man with no plan or vision.

Besides, he needed to learn the things Gemmel was teaching him. He couldn’t return to Luthadel until... until he was himself again. Or at the very least a scarred version of himself, the wounds closed, the memories quieted.

“Let’s be on with it then,” Kelsier said.

Gemmel glared at him. The old lunatic didn’t like it when Kelsier tried to take control. But... well, that was what Kelsier did. Somebody had to.