“Look, look at this pro-Russian motherfucker!” He pointed at the screen. Maria saw his face and bit her lip.

“So it was you that doused him with green dye this morning?”

“Our people,” Andrei nodded gleefully.

“You said you’d gone for your rehabilitation session.”

“My therapist was there too.”

He laughed. Maria put her hand on his broad shoulder, lightly pressing her nails against his skin.

“Don’t do it again. Please.”

“Do what? Have a laugh?”

“Let’s talk about it when you get back. Take Tykhon to Grandma first.”

“No, say what you mean.”

“You could have been arrested.”

“So what?”

Maria sighed.

“We’ll talk later.”

“We’ll talk about this when I please.” Andrei stood up.

“I don’t like your tone.”

“I don’t like that you don’t get how important this is,” he said, his voice louder now.

“What’s important? Splashing people with dye?” Maria stood fixed to the spot and coldly looked into Andrei’s eyes. “Now will you change the lightbulb and take Tykhon to his grandmother?”

Tykhon looked from Maria to Andrei.

“Come on little guy.” Andrei waved a hand and glared at Maria as he left the room.

Tykhon looked inquisitively at Maria. She smiled at him and nodded—off you go—and he trotted after Andrei.

When the door closed behind them, Maria vacuumed the carpet and sat down at the computer. She checked her emails. There were several old messages from Fryderyk in the archive.

She sent him an email: “Call me.”

“He won’t call,” she thought.

She wrote another email, and this time set up a read receipt: “Call me, it’s important.”

She paced the room in thought and then sat back at the computer. She entered a search query: “Sleep disorders.” Results included stupid tips and training seminars, so she took down the names of several insomnia medications and then ran a few searches in the International Classification of Sleep Disorders database: confusional arousals, sleepwalking, night-time fears, wake-sleep transition disorders, sleep talking, night cramps, REM-related parasomnias, sleep-related bruxism, sleep enuresis, neurodegenerative conditions. None of it seemed right. Narcolepsy best fitted the bill.

A neighbour below put on some music. Bass pounded the floor. She scrolled further. The section on narcolepsy: causes, symptoms, diagnosis. The frequency of uncontrolled sleep attacks ranges from one to two hundred daily. Fits can be caused by intense emotions of pleasure and excitement, and less often with emotions like sadness, anger, remorse, shame, and disgust. Night sleep is characterised by fragmentary dreams, nightmares, accompanied by sudden awakenings and negative emotions associated with dreams and hallucinations.

The front door slammed shut. Andrei entered the hallway noisily. Maria closed the browser. She went to the mirror, took out her makeup and examined her reflection.

Andrei entered. He sniffed the air like an outsized dog.

“Smells of coconut.”

“Orchid. It’s an orchid scent.”

Andrei sat down heavily and crossed his arms.

“Stop taking the piss. What’s going on?”

Maria turned toward him. She had a pink cream container in her hands.