“Really? Because everything is falling apart, and knowing what I do, I don’t think I could go home and plod on for another…what? Ten days? A month? A year? Knowing that it was all coming down and that at any moment I could…cease. I’d rather be there, where the work is going on, even if I’d be no earthly use. I want to see it saved, or not saved. Otherwise it’s the mother of all swords of Damocles, isn’t it?”

Julian thought about that, feeling her arm and her warmth as an anchor, preventing him from flying into the void and being lost forever. He was, he realized, unutterably in love with Alison Matchell. His feelings tipped the hat to sexual attraction, but only on the way to a number of other things that were vastly more significant. Not exactly a grand revelation this late in the game, but somehow he’d never been able to admit it.

He thought he could have lived under that particular sword forever, because he was an expert at throwing up routines and rules and habits until the uncomfortable breadth of the wider world was entirely hidden from him.

Except that, as Alison said, things were screwed up beyond recognition back home. He didn’t feel good that the casting vote in his decision was Don’t want to face the mess I made, but so be it.

“Of course we’ll stay.” He made a creditable stab at making the words sound sincere, as though they were what he’d always intended to say. “We’re HM Government’s representatives—they’d want us to look after the national interest.”

Alison barked out another laugh, and he saw for a golden moment how glad she was that he was along for the ride. His heart twisted painfully, and then the usual guilt flooded back. “Can you…use your link to communicate with people, back home?”

“Possibly. You want to report to Hind? I don’t know what she’d make of it. We’re somewhat outside our jurisdiction, to be honest.”

“I want to get word to Josie. To tell her…I’m okay. But yes, I should probably do that as well.”

“Then you’d better start dictating,” Alison invited. “And keep it brief. I’m not sure how much I can smuggle over the borders.”

He couldn’t say much to either Josie or Hind, in the end. Little more than “still alive, watch this space.” Alison herself was mostly concerned with getting a neighbour to look after Simms. Julian had prompted her to message Derek and the girls, but after some reflection she’d simply said, “That ship sailed a long time ago.”