‘I couldn’t agree more,’ Sparhawk replied. ‘Anyway, I wrote her a letter pretending that we had some mutual friends, and I was a little surprised when she answered my letter with a great deal of warmth. Our letters grew more and more friendly, and she finally invited me to call on her. I went even deeper in debt to my tailor and set out for her father’s house in high spirits and splendid new clothes.’

‘Sounds to me as if everything was going according to plan, Master Cluff,’ Sorgi said. ‘What’s this problem of yours?’

‘I’m just getting to that, Captain. The lady is of middle years and very wealthy. If she were even remotely presentable, someone would have snapped her up years ago, so I didn’t have my hopes too high on that score. I assumed that she was plain – perhaps even homely I had not, however, expected a horror.’ He feigned a shudder ‘Gentlemen, I cannot even describe her to you. No matter how rich she was, it wouldn’t have been worth waking up to that every morning. We spoke together briefly – about the weather, I think – and then I made my apologies and left. She has no brothers, so I wasn’t worried about the possibility of someone looking me up to object to my bad manners. What I didn’t count on, though, was all her cousins. She’s got a whole platoon of them, and they’ve been following me for weeks now’

‘They don’t want to kill you, do they?’ Sorgi asked.

‘No,’ Sparhawk replied in an anguished tone ‘They want to drag me back and force me to marry her.’

The captains all roared with laughter, pounding on the table in glee ‘I think you’ve outsmarted yourself, Master Cluff,’ one of them said, wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes.

Sparhawk nodded glumly ‘You’re probably right,’ he admitted.

‘You should have found some way to get a look at her before you sent the first letter,’ Sorgi grinned.

‘I know that now,’ Sparhawk agreed. ‘Anyhow, I think it’s time I left the country for a while until the cousins stop looking for me. I’ve got a nephew living in Cippria in Rendor who’s been doing fairly well of late. I’m sure I can impose on him until I can get my feet on the ground again. Is it possible that one of you gentlemen might be sailing there soon? I’d like to book passage for myself and a couple of family retainers. I’d go to the main docks in Madel, but I’ve got a strong feeling that the cousins are watching them.’

‘What say you, gentlemen?’ Captain Sorgi said expansively. ‘Shall we help this good fellow out of his predicament?’

‘I’m going to Rendor, right enough,’ one of the others replied, ‘but I’m committed to Jiroch.’