“There we were on the ground, you because you’d been hit by the blast, me because I’d thrown myself at you. You were unconscious. I was winded and I needed to take a couple of minutes to pull myself together. It was dark out there. In fact, the only light was from the room curtain, which was smoldering. But it was enough to see this dark shape climbing over the balcony railing, followed by another. I’ve found that curious onlookers usually take the stairs so I knew these two ninjas were up to no good. One of them was holding a machete. He walked over to you and put two fingers on your neck to see if you were alive. He raised his weapon. He was there to finish you off, then me, no doubt. As you know, Siri, I still have a few moves.”

“Oh, I know.”

“And I recall someone famous once saying ‘the best form of attack is to run screaming in the opposite direction.’”

“It was in Sun Tzu’s The Art of War,” said Siri.

“So I got to my feet and ran screaming. As I expected, both of them gave chase. I was the one they were after, you see? No offense intended.”

“I should be grateful.”

“It was lucky I wasn’t dressed for a night out. Wearing a phasin would have made everything very difficult. I’d gone with the unflattering fisherman’s pants and a peasant jacket. That fashion choice gave me a few options. When I was sure the first of the thugs was close enough, I fell forward onto my left side, which left my right leg free to place a kick upward between the man’s legs.”

“Ouch.”

“I knew he’d be busy counting his testicles for a while so I turned my attention to thug two, alias Big Daddy. He was surprised to see his accomplice on the ground. He charged at me waving his machete, shouting ‘Ghrrarr’ or something like that. I knew from experience that would-be assassins who make wild animal noises when they attack lack confidence and are probably low on swordsmanship skills. Plus I knew he was stupid. Why else would they come to finish us off with knives after they’d woken up half the town with a grenade? Why not bring a gun? In fact, why bother with the grenade at all? Just shoot us, why don’t they?”

“Sound advice which I’m pleased they didn’t have access to,” said Siri.

“I could only assume they wanted it to be dramatic,” said Daeng. “A lesson to anyone who messes with Big Daddy. Being blown up and hacked to pieces makes a statement.”

“Loud and clear.”