‘It always comes back to us, doesn’t it?’

‘Hey, it’s your job to provide the bodies, Inspector. We’re not CSI: Miami, you know. We do our bit, then we go and sit in the van and have a cup of tea while we wait for you blokes to make the arrest. That’s real life, that is.’

‘What funeral was going on here?’ asked Fry.

A PC was standing nearby with a notebook. ‘This was the cremation of a child,’ he said. ‘A thirteen-year-old boy who was killed in a road accident in Chesterfield.’

‘Why didn’t they take him to the crematorium at Brimington?’

‘I don’t know, Sergeant. Perhaps Brimington was too busy. Or maybe this one’s cheaper.’

‘Don’t let anybody hear you making remarks like that,’ said Hitchens.

‘Actually, I think it might be a space question,’ said Abbott. ‘This was a big funeral – about two hundred mourners, I’d say. They have a bigger chapel here, and facilities for relaying the service to the waiting room if there’s still an overspill.’

‘OK. Who was the funeral director?’

‘One of the big Chesterfield outfits.’

Fry looked at the mourners waiting in the chapel. This was what the caller wanted. He’d enjoy the thought of the police waiting for a body to turn up; he’d planned to leave them helpless and frustrated. For now, he was in control of the situation. He’d even told them what he was going to do. Soon there will be a killing. Some people really got off on playing God, didn’t they?

Cooper carried the urn into the CID room and put it down on his desk. Gavin Murfin eyed it suspiciously, dipping his hand into a bag of jelly babies hidden in his desk drawer.

‘What have you got there, Ben?’

‘About seven pounds of bone ash.’

Murfin gazed at the urn, chewing reflectively on a jelly baby. ‘Well, while you’ve been out collecting ashes, we’ve had background checks done on the crematorium staff.’

‘Did the list come through from Christopher Lloyd?’

‘It did. They’re all clean, apart from one who had a couple of minor convictions for taking without consent when he was a teenager.’

‘Taking cars without consent, presumably, rather than bodies.’

‘Yes, I think you can presume that. Also, I found this – a job advert for a crematorium technician with one of the local councils. You know, those blokes are pretty badly paid. A lot of people wouldn’t leave the house for this sort of salary, let alone deal with dead bodies all day.’

Bereavement Services are looking for a self-motivated
and enthusiastic individual to work alongside
our experienced team of cremator operators.
The successful applicant will perform
cremations in accordance with the Code of
Cremation Practice, and will undertake chapel
attendant duties, ensuring that services are
conducted in a dignified, orderly and caring
manner. Applicants must be willing to undertake
the Cremator Technicians Training Scheme.