‘He will be. I’ve done the two of you a favour, because I’m that kind of guy. When you find yourselves sacked and skint, ring Seb at First Call. I’ve told him Waterhouse is good. I lied and said you were too, for old times’ sake. He’ll find jobs for you both if you ask him nicely. Not that this’ll put you off, but you probably won’t have the pleasure of working with moi. I’m handing in my notice any day now, giving the comedy another go.’ Kerry shrugged. ‘I’m a funny guy. You’ve got to make the most of your talents in this world. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been neglecting yours since you got engaged. I’d heard calls to the Samaritans had been on the up recently—now I know why. You provided a valuable public service in your heyday.’

‘You know Aidan Seed,’ said Charlie. ‘You went to his private view at TiqTaq in 2000.’

‘Did I?’

‘You bought a painting. A few days after you collected it, you got a call from someone who wanted it enough to offer you more than you’d paid for it. A lot more.’

‘I never liked Seed and I liked his creepy pictures even less,’ said Kerry. ‘I wouldn’t have bought one if I hadn’t had too much to drink. He seemed to be going places, and I thought it’d be a good investment. As it turned out, I got to cash in sooner than I’d expected.’

‘You sold the picture you bought to a man called Maurice Blandford. Or perhaps that wasn’t his name. It might have been Abberton, or . . .’

‘You were right the first time. Maurice Blandford. Suck his cock, did you?’

‘No. If he exists, if he has a suckable cock, then no—I didn’t.’

‘All cocks are suckable,’ said Kerry. ‘Trust me, as the proud owner of a fine specimen.’

‘I assume you’re referring to a spare you keep in a jar somewhere, for special occasions?’

‘You said it.’

Damn. She should have thought ahead. She’d asked for that one.

‘Did Aidan Seed hire you to follow Ruth Bussey? To find out about her background?’

‘It’s the same rule for you as for Neil Dunning esquire.’ Kerry took a sip of a drink that looked like port before smiling sympathetically at Charlie. ‘Worse for you, since you’re in no position to come back in the morning with a warrant. Face it: you’re out in the cold. This’ll tickle you: Dunning asked me if I thought you and Waterhouse could be trusted.’ He grinned, genuinely pleased to be delivering the news. ‘Don’t worry, I stuck up for you. If it makes you feel any better, Dunning’ll get nothing from me, warrant or no warrant, so you can’t accuse me of not playing fair.’