“I was never going to accept a contract from any team. I’d made that decision while I was still on that call with Micah. But it was irresponsible for me to even consider going through with the workout after feeling that pain in my knee.”

“Were you the one who called it off?” she asked.

He nodded. “I had Micah contact the teams yesterday morning, about an hour before the livestream was supposed to start.”

“What made you cancel it?”

“It’s like you said, it wasn’t worth the risk. Knowing I wouldn’t play ball, no matter the outcome of the workout, it just didn’t make sense to put my body through that.” His gaze caught hers and held it. “I realized performing for those teams wouldn’t give me the one thing I’ve truly been seeking: Silas’s forgiveness.”

Taylor pulled her trembling bottom lip between her teeth, her throat tightening with empathy over the anguish she heard in his voice.

“Everything else I said I wanted, it was all bullshit,” Jamar said. “This was about Silas. It’s always been about Silas, about me trying to make up for what I stole from him. I’ve always known that in here,” he said, tapping the center of his chest. “But when you pointed it out that day in my office, it just…it hit me in a way I wasn’t ready for.”

“Hurting you was not my intention,” Taylor said, but then she stopped. Shaking her head, she admitted, “That’s a lie. I did want to hurt you. I was so furious that you let Micah talk you into going through with that workout. I didn’t think past my own anger. I should have, and I’m sorry.”

“No, I needed to hear it,” he said. He cast his eyes downward and toed a thin branch that had been carried by the wind. “I found out that Andrea, Silas’s sister, has known this whole time that Silas left the party to look for me. She knows that I ignored his calls that night, yet she doesn’t blame me for what happened. I figure if Drea can forgive me, maybe one day I’ll be able to forgive myself. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.”

He lifted his head and looked at her, his imploring eyes full of remorse and longing.

“But I’ll never forgive myself if I’ve messed up things with you, Taylor.”

The aching tenderness in his voice shattered her. She reached for him.

Jamar captured her hands and brought them to his lips, pressing a firm yet gentle kiss to the backs of her fingers.