“I need to show everyone just how far I’ve come in my recovery. You see, I made this deal with my trainer that I would endorse her fitness consulting business.”

“You mean your girlfriend,” Drea said.

“Yes, she is my girlfriend,” he conceded. Although Jamar wasn’t sure how true that was anymore. “But that’s beside the point. We made this bargain before things became serious between us. And there’s more to tomorrow’s workout than the promise I made to Taylor. I want to make this happen for Silas.

“That’s what’s so damn hard about finally accepting that I’ll never play again. It feels as if I’m letting Silas down.” He shook his head. “I didn’t want much, Drea. Maybe another year or so, something more than the half season I got to play. It just wasn’t enough time to live out that dream the two of us had.”

“You were lucky, Jamar. There are so many who would give anything for the half season you got to play professional football. And I’m not talking about Silas,” she added. “I’m talking about others who get to live long lives but never get a taste of what you had in those few games you did play in.”

“Yeah, I know that,” he said. “I just wanted a little more time. I wanted the chance to leave on my own terms.”

“I know how hard it was when you were hurt and had to leave the game.” She clamped a hand to his forearm and rubbed back and forth. Then she pinched him. “But that’s still no reason to scare me like that! What in the hell were you thinking!”

“Ouch!” His eyes snapped to hers. “What was that for?”

“That was for you nearly giving me a heart attack,” she said. “I never liked the fact that you and Silas played football. I would sit in the stands and hold my breath through the entire game. I did that for years, Jamar. All through high school, while you were at UT, and then with the Bears. I finally get some peace and you go ahead and do this!”

“I was doing it partly for you and Big Silas,” he said.

“Why? Because of your ridiculous belief that you’re in some way responsible for taking care of us?”

“It’s not ridiculous. I am respon—”

“You’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” he said. “I owe it to Silas. Eight years ago today, I sat beside him in that hospital room and I made a promise. I told him I would take care of all of you.”