“Take a chill pill. Everyone needs their lawns mowed, and every town has a trailer park. Just take your pick,” he imagined Roxy advising, sitting in the passenger seat and hooking a rug pattern of a frowning pug. “I know this sucks, kiddo. But your Nanna went through hell herself to find you and bring you back. Find another small town, buy some Just For Men, and go brunette for a while. But for God’s sake, don’t go blond. You’ll look like your grandmother in drag.”

What would you really say if I called you, Roxy? If I told you what was happening, and that I can’t find anything funny about it. You’d certainly be at Nanna’s house—you always claim it’s for her own good—and vow to help me in private, while waving over my grandmother and writing down exactly where I am. The wheels in your head would be full tilt, figuring that you could cram in a car with Nanna with Mom and Dad and be in Little Rock by 2 a.m.

“I know how dangerous I am,” is all I would have to say to you to stop your pacing. “I overheard you and Nanna, Roxy. I know.”

You would feign ignorance, but you’re a terrible liar. Even you would have no clever comeback when I explained how I eavesdropped on you and Nanna in the most raw of moments.

No one wanted Nanna to be alone with Grandpa Tom in those final days of hospice care. He’d been brought home from the hospital to spend his last days in his own bed. Of course we knew that Nanna wouldn’t be alone, as Roxy had practically moved into the guest room, refusing to go home until she was thrown out.

It was after midnight. Grandpa had long since stopped speaking, having been given the powerful palliative sedative that eased cancer patients through their last moments, spoon-fed to him lovingly by his wife. No one knew how long he might live, so Aunt Stella had gone home with his parents and brothers, trying to figure out how to notify Aunt Kate when none of them had spoken to her in years. Roxy and I had kept a vigil with Nanna upstairs, sitting in the dim light while the clock ticked loudly. I’d dozed and I guess started to snore. Roxy told me to either go get some caffeine or she was going to put a clothespin on my nose.