“I know.” I realized that Tariq and I were tormented by Claudia’s memory in different ways. Tariq would never recover from his inability to save her. For him, that meant failure as a man and a lover and a friend. My pain was simpler but just as poisonous. Close as we were as children, a chasm of resentment and guilt had grown ever wider between us, never to be healed. A river of anger and frustration would follow me as long as I lived, its currents threatening to pull me in like an undertow.

“I made the mistake of confronting Sklar in a rage,” said Tariq. Each word was an obvious effort. “I thought he might have abducted Claudia and I lost all control. In the end, I was of no use to her at all.” It was strange to finally realize how deeply he loved my sister. I’d thought they were bonded by drugs and lust, but something deep and powerful had taken root even in that thin soil.

“You were her best friend, Tariq. In your own way, you wanted what was best for her. We just didn’t agree on what that was.”

“Excuse me,” said a low voice behind us.

“Ridley?” Martin’s son was wearing a black overcoat with the collar pulled up. I guessed that it was an attempt at hiding, now impossible for him because of his size. He shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, his polished shoes making a soft squish in the muck. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry about Claudia.” His broad shoulders hunched and his eyes swept over my feet. “I miss her.”

“I know, Ridley. I do, too.”

“My dad said we shouldn’t go in to the service but… we wanted to come.” Ridley glanced at me. “You’re not mad?”

“Claudia would be happy you’re here,” I said. “I’m glad you came, too, Ridley.”

He nodded, and I believed he understood what I meant. Ridley was Claudia’s friend, and he deserved to mourn her with others who’d loved her, even if his father didn’t. “You didn’t tell the police about what I did. The fire, I mean.”

That wasn’t entirely true. The NYPD was looking into the arson at St. Aristarchus again, and I’d told Bruxton and Norah that I’d realized that Ridley had confessed to Claudia; their verdict had been that my testimony wouldn’t hold up in court. I hadn’t mentioned that Tariq knew the story, too, nor that Ridley had given the remote detonator he’d used to Claudia. Perhaps she’d just thrown it out; no one knew what had happened to it. Tariq would eventually take his revenge on Martin, but I wanted to believe he wouldn’t involve Ridley.

“You promised Claudia you wouldn’t do anything like that again,” I said. “I hope you meant it.”