“I just wanted to tell you I’m all right. I needed to talk to someone,” I said to his voice mail. “I’ll be back soon, I promise.” I felt guilty as I hung up the phone. I went into the subway, fully intent on going back to Jesse’s. But it was the weekend and trains were rerouted for track maintenance work. I ended up getting off the subway at Canal Street, where I was irresistibly drawn east, until I found myself on familiar streets in my old neighborhood. I crossed Delancey and got to Rivington, then went into my sister’s building and climbed the stairs to the fifth floor, finding the police tape dangling from the door of Claudia’s apartment. I wondered if I was about to be attacked again, if Martin had sent his henchmen and they were already waiting for me inside. But when I unlocked the door and turned on the light, no one jumped out. I peeked into the closet, then the kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom, but no one was waiting there. Inside the closet, I found only expensive clothing and shoes. Under the bed there were lurking dust bunnies. I was alone.

I sat on the bed. I really was alone. Truly alone. My family bonds had felt like restraints, but now they were gone and I felt anything but free. I wondered what Claudia’s last moments were like. When a person overdosed, did she drift in bliss until her heart gave out? Or was it agony, as I always suspected my mother’s death had been. I tried to picture it, but my mind kept retreating to the unfinished parts of this puzzle. When had Trina Greene decided to start impersonating my sister? From what her boyfriend had said, it sounded like Trina was just supposed to rent the car and drive to New York, to make it look like my sister had left the Berkshires. When had she realized she could take it further? Had she seen it would be easy, since Claudia had no family but a sister living a continent away, and only one close friend who would miss her if she were gone?

There was a knock on the door and I went to answer it. Through the peephole I saw that it was Sarah, and I sighed, not wanting to have a conversation with her now but knowing that I had to. When I opened the door, Sarah grabbed me in a fierce hug. “I’m so sorry, Lily. Jesse told me everything. I’m so sorry.”

“Jesse told you?” I asked, letting go and standing back.