“Ava wasn’t the self-analytical type, either, Lil. Maybe that’s why you like her so much. She just kind of crashed through life, pulling up stakes on a whim, moving to Spain, takin’ up with bullfighters ’cause she felt like it.” He chuckled to himself. “Y’know, maybe she’s a good role model for you. Why don’t you just go have some fun with a guy for once instead of tying yourself up in knots?”

“I can’t.” I looked at the floor.

“Can’t, Tiger Lily? ’Course you can.” He came closer and must have caught the look on my face. “No. No. Don’t tell me you… you didn’t! Not with… Sklar?”

I nodded grimly.

“I can’t believe it. No, ’course I can believe it.” Jesse sat on the bed and his shoulders drooped as if he’d given up on me. “You get away from him for a while, then you go right back to him. You and Claudia are exactly alike.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re addicts. Your sister’s problem—I know she had more than one, but bear with me—her addiction is heroin. Yours is pain. You both get hurt, and you run away for a while, but you always end up goin’ back for another helpin’.”

“You can’t compare love with an illegal drug,” I protested.

“Sure you can. Just a different delivery method.” He shook his head, as if clearing the cobwebs. “Let me tell you somethin’, Lil. You can see Claudia’s problems, bright as day. But she can see yours, too.”

“What, have you been getting calls from her like Martin did?”

“Not recently. But when you and Martin got engaged, she phoned me.”

“You never told me that.”

“She wanted to save you from yourself,” said Jesse. “She said Martin played these head games that made you doubt yourself all the time. She said it was like watchin’ your mother and father again. Martin always comes off so reasonable, but there’s somethin’ not right about that fella.”

I felt myself getting heated again. First Tariq and now Jesse. How many people had Claudia blabbed to about our parents? “Claudia said that? What did you tell her?”

“You know I’ve always hated him,” Jesse answered defensively. “I’m not gonna lie. I despised him even before I had reason to. I was jealous when he swept in and swept you off your feet. You were mine first and suddenly I couldn’t compete.”

“Do you know how dumb this sounds? If you were straight, no one would ever have been able to pry me away from you.” I smiled, in spite of my annoyance. “Martin’s jealous of you, too. It’s as if, deep down, he knows that I’ll always love you more.”