I was pleasantly drunk when we emerged into the night. We had to get back to the fact-check early tomorrow, so I told Lane I was going home, but I planned to pop into my local for another drink or two. It felt almost dangerous to lie to him, but he didn’t detect it. Thankfully, we were going in different directions.

He flagged a cab, and as it swerved to the curb, he said, “You take this one.”

“Alright.”

I pulled the door open as he came in for a hug. Before I could react, he’d kissed my cheek; I felt the impress of his beard.

“Okay,” I said, and he stepped back, stuffing his hands deep in his pockets.

I glanced at his merry little eyes and ducked into the cab.

5.

At the Bystander the next morning, I didn’t address the kiss. I was too hungover. I’d ended up drinking a whole bottle of wine at my local while watching the Lakers smash the Suns. In the middle of the night I woke on the couch with no idea how I’d gotten there. I crawled to bed, frightened by the gap in my memory. And so I arrived at the office in a terrible mood, my stomach somersaulting, and couldn’t find the energy to say anything to Lane. I just plunged into the fact-check and minimized eye contact.

It wasn’t the first time someone had developed an office crush on me, or made a ridiculous pass, and Lane’s respect for me seemed so fanatical, I figured I could manage it. Over the next few days, I dressed with scrupulous conservatism, avoided personal subjects, and breezed past invitations. It was a passive strategy, to be sure, but after I missed that first opportunity to mention something, I felt passivity was best. I told myself anything more direct would make him think I’d been dwelling on it, and even that amount of interest could send the wrong message. Besides, I really needed his help.

Julia Rawls was listed as “Subject 12” in the report. It was uncanny to see her rendered into faceless medical evidence, but that was how Rubicon protected patient privacy. According to the report, a fourteen-year-old was taken to Ocean General Hospital with a partly severed breast. By receiving the solution, Subject 12 avoided terminal hemorrhage before successful reattachment surgery.

Subject 12 can be counted among the signature achievements of the trial, said the report, an early confirmation that the solution will be viable for minors.

Late one Thursday afternoon, with rain lashing the windows, I asked Lane to take a look at the contents of Sunshine Ray’s CD, pointing him to the raw medical data pertaining to Subject 12. He winced at the photographs and began sniffing through the spreadsheets.

I turned back to the report, and worked for another little while until I heard him say, “That’s a bit much.”