If I were to agree, if, we would go during the European summer. But what would become of the cottage, of the boatshed? I did raise this issue with Lucy, believing it would end the idea, but she had a plan for that too. Another cousin of hers, just arrived from Ireland, or some such story, would love to house-sit. How many cousins does this woman have?

It is madness, is it not? Me, in Italy, doing art courses!

Though, I have to say the pictures Lucy showed me were beautiful. And she is so excited it is hard not to get swept up in her enthusiasm. I do not wish to disappoint her. And it might be nice to have something to look forward to.

There are elements to the idea that sound fun. Eating genuine Italian food in small trattoria; going to the museums; seeing the Ponte Vecchio.

Maybe I should go. It cannot hurt, can it?

I am sitting on our bench as I write this. The sky is a lovely shade of blue and the sun is warm. Autumn again, my love. I can feel you sitting here beside me, watching the ocean. Your toes are playing in the grass and the gentle breeze teases your brown curls. You are so content. So distant.

I know what you would say. You would tell me it was high time I enjoyed myself and an adventure was just what I needed. A wild, crazy adventure.

Yes, my dearest, perhaps I will head to Italy. Wish me luck.

Forever yours,

Ivy

It was no good. Not even Ivy could save Nicole from Mark intruding every thought she had. Kissing Danny had released all the emotions she’d been bottling up for so long now; it had forced her memories to the front of her mind.

Oh God, this is what Mark had reduced her to. His lasting legacy no matter what Nicole did, no matter what she could ever do. He’d always be there in her head.

March, This Year

For the last three months Nicky had shut down, withdrawing from Mark, turning off her emotions. And he hadn’t even noticed. At what point had she lost herself? The ectopic pregnancy? Before that? The months since?

All she knew was that she no longer existed, and the only way to live again was to leave.

She kept her freelance editing work secret and slowly she’d saved some money. All she had to do now was find somewhere to live.

Nicky opened her laptop and scrolled through a house-sitting website. It was a good option. No cost, moving every couple of months. Trouble was, none of them were available immediately. She’d have to hang on a bit longer. God, she didn’t know how long she could keep this up.