As she walked home, the sense of bliss that had settled over Nicole slowly dissolved into fear. It wasn’t long now till her lease would be up, but she wasn’t worried that she would have to leave. She was worried that she might just want to stay.

December, Last Year

Over the past month Mark continued on as if nothing had happened. Nicky stopped her therapy sessions. There was no point.

It was time to go.

She made an appointment for the morning with Mark’s financial adviser so she could get her book money back. She’d leave Mark whatever interest they’d earned.

That evening Nicky sat on the sofa and waited for Mark to come home.

As he let himself in the door, she pulled herself upright and took a deep breath.

‘Hey, gorgeous.’ Mark greeted her and she didn’t answer. ‘Oh no. What’s wrong now?’ He rolled his eyes.

‘Is there something you need to tell me?’

‘No.’ He frowned.

‘I went to see the financial adviser today.’ She kept her voice even.

‘Oh.’ Mark moved to the kitchen and poured himself a whisky. ‘You have to understand, princess, that sometimes investing is a risky business.’

‘It’s all gone. All of it.’

He drank his glass in one sip. ‘Well, yes. But we can save up again.’

Nicky counted to five, focusing on her breathing. ‘You weren’t even going to tell me?’

‘There was no need.’ He shrugged.

Nicole stood.

‘Hey, why were you trying to access the money anyway? Is there something you need to tell me?’

Oh, no, no. She wasn’t going to let him turn this around. ‘Don’t. Don’t you even! How could you do this to me? To us?’

Mark tried to talk his way out it – the investment had been risky but if it had paid off, wow-wee; he’d lost a lot of his own money in the deal too; didn’t she realise he was only doing it for her.

Was this her fault? Wait. No. Realisation slowly seeped into Nicky’s soul, their whole relationship coming into focus – the blaming, the second guessing, the oh-so-subtle manipulation that led to constant self-doubt. She fought the urge to scream.

‘Oh, Nicky.’ He wrapped his arms around her shaking body. ‘We’ll be okay. We’ll get through this.’

Mark released his embrace and made a quick dinner, which they ate in silence. He slunk off to bed shortly after and Nicky started making a plan.

She wouldn’t just leave. She’d disappear. Somewhere he couldn’t find her.

She pulled out one of her notebooks and started making a list.

New phone – prepaid.

Accommodation – rental? House-sit?

Food. Petrol. Money.

Money? Editing?

Money? Bank account.

New email address.

Change passwords.

Each task she would need in order to get out of there.