‘What’ll you have?’ Conor raised his voice as he ducked to miss one of the girls’ arms as she emphasised something important to her laughing companions.

‘Recommend me something. You’re the expert.’

As Hannah tried to follow him, one of the hens turned round to the other girls.

‘Oh. My. God.’

‘What? What?’ they called in ragged chorus, like startled rooks.

‘It’s only Conor Byrne.’ She held her hand to her heart. ‘And he looks,’ she paused and shouted, ‘Good Enough to Eat.’

Hannah remembered belatedly that this was the name of Conor’s cookery programme.

‘Where? Where?’

The girl pointed. ‘And look at that arse. You wouldn’t turn down a ride of him, would you?’

‘Conduct yourself, Siobhan,’ said one of the more sober girls (relative to the others), giggling.

‘That’s the dog calling the cat’s arse hairy, Bernadette Geraghty,’ said Siobhan good-naturedly, stabbing at the ticks on the girl’s T-shirt. ‘Sure you’ve already kissed three ugly fellas.’

‘Thems was dares.’ Bernadette waved both hands before squinting with bleary, unfocused eyes after Conor. ‘Though you’re right, girls. I bet he’s great in the scratcher.’

The rest of the girls burst out laughing.

‘I saw him first. I’m going to ask him for a kiss,’ announced Siobhan, sticking out her ample chest.’

‘You’re making a holy show of yourself,’ said another girl, which Hannah guessed meant she was taking things a bit too far.

Siobhan pushed up her boobs to cheers from the other girls, tossed her hair over her shoulder, and to the avid interest of nearly everyone in the pub now, began to stalk her prey. Well, it was not so much stalking as pouncing the minute she got within a foot of him.

She clamped one hand on his shoulder and he span around. ‘Conor Byrne, you look good enough to eat. Fancy nibbling on me?’ She let out a cackle of delighted laughter.

Hannah watched in mortified apprehension as Conor’s face underwent a rather magnificent transformation.

‘Ah, you’re very good.’ He gave her a full blast of the Conor Byrne thousand-kilowatt charm, those blue eyes crinkling with amused regret, ‘But see here,’ he nodded his head towards Hannah, holding out a hand to her, ‘my girlfriend’s quite choosy about where I eat these days but I’m sure I can spare you a kiss.’ He gave the woman a peck on the cheek, as at least two of the girls captured it on their phones, obviously making sure the shot didn’t include Conor’s grip on Hannah’s hand. No doubt the carefully cropped picture would be shared on WhatsApp, go viral on Instagram, and be shared a dozen times on Facebook.