“Is that how you’re rationalizing this to yourself? You didn’t touch the children, you just watched, and so, somehow, it’s all okay? Somehow that makes you less of a monster?”

“Heloise, honey, please stop …”

“What about me?”

He looked up. “What do you mean?”

“What about all the times we were at the beach when I was little? Or at the pool? Or when we slept together in your bed, you and me? What was going on inside your head when we were lying there?”

“What in the world are you talking about?”

“Were you thinking about it then? Did you look at me that way too?”

“What? No!” His face crumpled, and he looked repulsed at the thought. “Heloise, don’t say such things. Of course I didn’t. You’re my child!”

“The others were someone’s children too, Dad. They were someone’s children! How could you have let this happen? How could you?”

“I wish I could take it all back, I do. And Anna could tell. She knew that I wasn’t like the other men.”

“You’re exactly like the other men,” Heloise said.

“No, I’m not. She knew that if I could, I would undo it. She came here because she could tell that I was different.”

“What did she want from you?”

“She wanted my help.”

“With what?”

“With documenting everything.”

Heloise leaned back in her chair and watched him for several seconds.

“What specifically was she looking for?” she asked.

“Names, passwords, access to the club’s files.”

“And you were able to give her that?”

He nodded.

“What kind of files are we talking about?”

“When the internet came along, it became easier to share material. If attending the events wasn’t possible for someone, they could still be part of the, well, the club. A confidential chat forum was set up, a secret portal where we swapped photos, short stories, that sort of thing.”

“And you gave Anna Kiel access to that portal?”

He nodded again.

“What is she planning to do with it?”

“She didn’t tell me that. That wasn’t part of the agreement.”

“The agreement?”

“Yes, she wanted some concrete evidence against her abusers—IP addresses, pictures and videos they appeared in—and I …” He looked up. “I just wanted you. That was the agreement. If she got you to come here, I would give her the information she needed.”

“So, you were behind this the whole time?” Heloise nodded. “The letters she sent were to get me to show up here with you?”

“You didn’t give me any other choice.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“People are dead because of you. Do you know that?” Heloise felt the anger trembling all the way to her fingertips.

“Wait, what? No, I—”