“No, wait. Pam!” A click, then a dial tone buzzed in Kate’s ear. She jabbed the Off button and gulped three breaths of air, laden with salt and exhaust fumes. What was going on? Had Pam called Lucas and devised some scheme to get her book sales back on track? What if Lucas hadn’t meant any of it? But why would he have put himself through it if he didn’t love her?

Uh, the money?

She felt like a sailboat, pushed at the whimsy of the wind, and she’d just suffered a gust from an unexpected direction.

But this was the new Kate. The one who was going to follow God’s leading, regardless of which way the wind blew. And right now, she needed to find Lucas and tell him how she felt.

Kate stood, hitching the bag on her shoulder, and turned toward town.

When she reached Main Street, she hailed a cab and gave him the address. Though she hadn’t slept, the phone call and nervous energy at seeing Lucas again kept her alert.

What will I say to him, God? Give me the courage to face him. To tell him how I feel and trust You to direct us.

Her muscles tightened until they cramped. She relaxed her hold on the leather handle of the overnight bag as Lucas’s words returned to her: “Love isn’t some item on a checklist.”

Maybe sometimes you had to loosen your grip. But it was scary. It required trust and faith. Two things she ran short on.

If there’s anyone I can trust, it’s Lucas. Kate allowed herself that. Reminded herself it was true. He’d never given her any reason to distrust him.

“I love her. I have for a long time, and I always will.” She’d played his words over and over on the drive, drinking them up, soothing her troubled spirit with the promise. But now she wondered if he meant them.

A picture of her mom flashed in her mind. She was hunched over the kitchen table in her terry bathrobe, a bottle of scotch in her bony hand. A photo album was open on the table in front of her, and her hand smoothed over the glossy page as if she stroked the face in the photo. How many times had she seen her mother like that, dying one memory at a time?

Kate shook the thought. She wasn’t her mother. And Lucas wasn’t her father. It was like he’d said all along. She needed to stop analyzing and let herself love him. Let herself be loved, if he was willing. She couldn’t think of anyone more trustworthy.