“That’s because I was just in the audience.”

“How did you get here so quickly?”

“Because it’s my job,” Naffa said, and magically a clipboard appeared. “How are you doing?”

“Tell me I never have to do this again.”

“It’s exceedingly rare for an emperox to have two coronation ceremonies, so, yes. You will never have to do this again.”

“Now tell me I can go home.”

“As the emperox owns Xi’an itself, technically speaking you are home.”

“There’s a terrifying thought.”

“In more prosaic fashion, however, you may not go home yet. In the next ten minutes, you must change into the formal uniform Dochae here is now showing you—” Naffa nodded toward the assistant, who indeed had a very formal uniform at the ready. “—and then you must go to the presentation balcony to wave to the tens of thousands of people who are currently ruining the lawn of the cathedral in the hope of seeing you. You’ll be up there for five minutes and then we go back to the palace where you will have an hour’s worth of five-minute audiences with a minute between them, and another hour of ten-minute audiences with two minutes between them. Then you are to arrive at your coronation celebration, at which point you will give a short address—”

Cardenia groaned.

“—which I have already prepared for you and which no one will listen to anyway because it is not of consequence, and then for the rest of your celebration you’ll spend three hours in a receiving line, shaking hands and having pictures and video taken with everyone, which I suspect is exactly the hell you imagine it will be. Then and only then will you be able to relax and eat something, so I suggest that while Dochae here helps you into that new uniform, that you also eat the protein bars she has for you. And maybe drink some water.”

“Do I get to relieve myself?”

“There’s a lavatory here. Door to your left. Before you ask, it’s stocked with everything you need at the moment.”

“Thank you. I’m glad someone remembers I am still actually a human.”

“Of course. Take your time as long as your time is under a minute.”

Cardenia groaned again and headed toward the lavatory.

Seven minutes later Cardenia’s coronation outfit was packed, her post-coronation outfit was on and surprisingly comfortable, and her phalanx of bodyguards was surrounding her in the elevator taking her up to the cathedral’s observatory deck, where her presentation balcony awaited. Cardenia looked around her and realized that outside of the palace itself, she was likely never to be alone in an elevator ever again.

The elevator door opened and there was Naffa again, standing in front of the alcove that was the presentation balcony.

“You have to stop doing that,” Cardenia said. “It’s creepy.”